If it wasn't such a beautiful day I'd Kill Myself
today in a nut shell sucked major balls i hated how i felt... im never following my heart again! fuck that.. look were it brought me... i hurt some poor guy for nothing.... and in the end nothing positive came out of it... it just ended up making me cry and have a shitty day... but I did nothing wrong.... why worry... why should i care... i tryed my everything... i have no regrets and if shes mad at me for me doing what she wanted me to do which was "move on" than fuck that... im sick of trying to please other people....from now on im gonna focus on something no one ever does and thats me... im not getting anywhere... being overy nice to people... do people want me to mean? WHY DO I GET PLAYED WITH?! moe moe was right im just a puppet.... i let people control my emotions my actions... and then sometimes i let people cut my cords... and i let kendra cut mine 3 times... and im such a dum ass cuz i dont care... i wanna let her hold my cords.... but its not that easy.... its not.... im never reconized....
and i thought if i dumped robert she would be okay and everything would be aokay again but no thats another thing that didn't work i dumped him for nothing....and i still like him... ahh... i did everything for her... and this is one example.... but no after i did everything i could she refused to talk to me today... making me feel like shit... making me sad.... well ya know what I DONT CARE ANYMORE im gonna get a guy and im not gonna break it off for no one... i dont care....things would be easyer if i didn't love her.... but if i keep trying to be with something that will ultimately distroy me... that means i dont love my self... and i do.... i love how i am... im proud to be who i am and every little effin bad thing that happens to me builds my character... makes me stronger... and wen its all said and done im a better person....thank you to all the people that helped me today ....Mairead, Sandra,Aimee, Danuta,Moe Moe, Angie, Chris C. Owen, EJ, Frank.... Kat...Micah... you guys are amazing and you guy deserve the world... anyone that would let me lean on there shoulders... deserve a whole lot... i love u guys....
this song is for u kendra:
I worry, I wonder all the time why worry
It's killing me, forget about it
I whisper, remember what she did
Don't miss her
Set me free, she won't allow it
Angry and gone, and the list goes on and on
If it's love, I will differ, I'm being lost being with her
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
Be-lieving, the things i did were wrong
I'm leaving
It fades a-way, forget about it
She's binding, can't do a thing alone
Rewinding
Times before, can't live without it
I don't know
But you did but you did but yo-ou did
Please don't go
Now my feelings for you they're now lost
'cause we're through anymore
I'll write you , I'll call you
Now
im so numb i went to the dentist all that was is my head when he was giveing me the novacane was " if only he could put that in to my heart... then i wouldn't feel ....i wouldn't feel incomplete
oh yes i wrote a peom today i will include it
***Taste of Regret***
the sring air blows, I hear the sound of sarrow, I taste the sound of hurt and I See the heart I follow
I swallow hard the taste of regret lingers within my heart I try to redo what I've done but I have no place to start
Give me a glance a mear smile my way
Anything to keep me breathing for just another day
please let me say what I have to say... dont turn ur back... please dont walk away....
(also for Kendra)
***ANT UNTIL MY NOVACANE FADES AWAY....***
and i thought if i dumped robert she would be okay and everything would be aokay again but no thats another thing that didn't work i dumped him for nothing....and i still like him... ahh... i did everything for her... and this is one example.... but no after i did everything i could she refused to talk to me today... making me feel like shit... making me sad.... well ya know what I DONT CARE ANYMORE im gonna get a guy and im not gonna break it off for no one... i dont care....things would be easyer if i didn't love her.... but if i keep trying to be with something that will ultimately distroy me... that means i dont love my self... and i do.... i love how i am... im proud to be who i am and every little effin bad thing that happens to me builds my character... makes me stronger... and wen its all said and done im a better person....thank you to all the people that helped me today ....Mairead, Sandra,Aimee, Danuta,Moe Moe, Angie, Chris C. Owen, EJ, Frank.... Kat...Micah... you guys are amazing and you guy deserve the world... anyone that would let me lean on there shoulders... deserve a whole lot... i love u guys....
this song is for u kendra:
I worry, I wonder all the time why worry
It's killing me, forget about it
I whisper, remember what she did
Don't miss her
Set me free, she won't allow it
Angry and gone, and the list goes on and on
If it's love, I will differ, I'm being lost being with her
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
I can't move on, I can't take it
She, she says we won't ma-a-ake it now
Be-lieving, the things i did were wrong
I'm leaving
It fades a-way, forget about it
She's binding, can't do a thing alone
Rewinding
Times before, can't live without it
I don't know
But you did but you did but yo-ou did
Please don't go
Now my feelings for you they're now lost
'cause we're through anymore
I'll write you , I'll call you
Now
im so numb i went to the dentist all that was is my head when he was giveing me the novacane was " if only he could put that in to my heart... then i wouldn't feel ....i wouldn't feel incomplete
oh yes i wrote a peom today i will include it
***Taste of Regret***
the sring air blows, I hear the sound of sarrow, I taste the sound of hurt and I See the heart I follow
I swallow hard the taste of regret lingers within my heart I try to redo what I've done but I have no place to start
Give me a glance a mear smile my way
Anything to keep me breathing for just another day
please let me say what I have to say... dont turn ur back... please dont walk away....
(also for Kendra)
***ANT UNTIL MY NOVACANE FADES AWAY....***