Whats really been going on....
alot has happened and like honestly I haven't been to honest in these past couple of entrys... making the entrys very dull vague and boring... im gonna let you in... i dont care who reads this anymore... this is who i am and if u wanna judge me... then kiss my ass... cuz I prolly look better than u do.... even with my hair a mess... okay so hears why I WAS so happy....
Last friday (march 4) i started going out with Kendra... (yes im bi) it was amazing like... she would right me cute notes... and meet me at my classes... and like everything seemed perfect... everything felt perfect and I was sooo happy... cuz I have liked her for along time... and honestly I thought someone like her would never go for someone like me... and on the field trip... omg... like wen we held hands.... i thought my world had stopped... and like just being with her made me incrediablely happy....everything about her drives me crazy she is sooo perfect... and i cant remember a bigger smile I have ever had then wen she kissed me before I went on the bus on thursday(march 10) but just like everything good in my life that happens shit like this never lasts... yah she dumped me:( it hit me hard... i lost it and ultimately hurt my self in ways i thought i never could cuz I always thought I would have been to scared....but feelings make me do crazy things.... well anyways... I cryed all day on friday (march 11) cuz like i never saw it coming.... and during the day i tryed to believe it was all a dream... but then i looked on my arm and saw my cuts.... and i knew this was a nightmare... a nightmare that was a hundred percent true... and like the fact that wen she told me it was over I just walked away so I never really new why... i was too scared to listen... cuz if i would have stood there to listen i dont think i could have kept a straight face and control my tears... well i guess this story has an okay ending cuz we met up before B period and we just looked at each other... and hugged... it felt right.... i dont really remember what was said besides "i never wanted to hurt you... cuz i still care about you alot" but just talking to her for those few seconds made a very big impact cuz I bet if I never talked to her I would still be a crying dork...feeling sorry for myself.... but i dont feel bad anymore... all i feel is some semi sadness cuz i miss her... i miss being that happy... but hey, maybe something might happen that i wont expect.
well anyways friday night i went to the mall with Mairead, Peru, Chris Colon,Angie,Sam, and Toya and Alyssa... i wont lie i was still bummed about the Kendra thing but I was gonna try to have a good night. I chilled with Alyssa and Mairead and Chris for most of the night...we were just being stupid... like usual...we went to the Dollar store to buy this cd... with some song on it called "running from the po po's (funny shit) lol so of coarse with a name like that i must buy it... after the dollar store me and mairead and alyssa sat down at the food coart with Jakob to eat the milkshakes we just bought... as i was talking with them I suddenly got really happy... cuz I was forgeting about how sucky of a day i had... so i guess that was good... UNTIL....
I suddenly heard Jakob go "hey Spencer" (my ex that broke my heart) all i prayed was that Spencer wouldn't notice me... so I just got up and left but wen I turned around I noticed him smiling at me the way he used to...and i couldn't help but run back to him and hug him.... i flet perfect in his arms again... he still smelt the same way i remembered... and i still get lost in his baby blue eyes... he didn't change... i had to leave him cuz I remembered he had a girlfriend... and I know if i would have stayed there I would have prolly kissed him and I would have looked stupid... I didn't think he could possiblely still like me... so i left with mairead and alyssa but then I bumped in to him in FYE and he said "jenna i wish i never dumped you... cuz I still love you" my heart dropped... and started doing flipps in my chest and I new I had hearts in my eyes...In the corner of my eyes I noticed my friends leaving so I told him i had to go and then he gave me a kiss on the cheek....:) i floated out of FYE. an hour pasted before I saw him again... he told me he wanted to talk to me... and we were talking then the next thing I know is that hes kissing me... and im feeling happy again... and kendra is finally out of my mind...
after that he had to go so he kissed me again...and said he loved me... and i was very very happy. after the mall i slept over sams with Mairead and Angie... we had a good time... we went to bed kinda early... but then we woke up early to make "secret agents" and i had the munchies soooo bad lol my mom picked me up around 10 and i had to go all the way up to huntington from my cuzins 3rd birthday party... it was boring but its funny eating cake wen your high.... well spencer just called me and Im talking to him now and he called me sexy and i love him :)
well this was a long entry.... i wanna dedicate this song to you kendra here it is:
Cheek to Cheek
By: The Starting Line
Bound to say something, eyes closed,
It's cold, and I'm home
I feel like nothing again,
Pretending not to care, but I care,
And I care, don't say another word
Our time was worthless, and I tried
We started over and over again, as we let go
We held each other, held hands,
Held standards and grudges
That's when I let you know,
I guess that goes to show
Just what I've been going through,
More nights of hugging my pillow, oh
Replaying memories
Sing this song for me;
And tell me how you'll never leave my side
I'll meet you at 7
I miss you already, goodbye to you
(The last goodbye, I'll never say to you)
Time was worthless, and I tried
We started over and over again, as we let go
We held each other, held hands,
held standards and grudges
That's when I let you know,
I guess that goes to show
Sing this song for me;
And tell me how you'll never leave my side
I'll meet you at 7
I miss you already, goodbye to you
the last goodbye I'll ever say to you
And I tried so hard,
And I've done my part,
And not to mention most of all of yours
Try and feel,
Try and listen,
Try and think of what you're missing,
Try to look into my eyes.
TRY
Goodbye
Sing this song for me
And tell me how you'll never leave my side
I'll meet you at 7
I miss you already
Goodbye to you
The last goodbye I'll ever say to you
Replaying memories
You'll never leave my side
****AND UNTIL TOMARROW...****
Last friday (march 4) i started going out with Kendra... (yes im bi) it was amazing like... she would right me cute notes... and meet me at my classes... and like everything seemed perfect... everything felt perfect and I was sooo happy... cuz I have liked her for along time... and honestly I thought someone like her would never go for someone like me... and on the field trip... omg... like wen we held hands.... i thought my world had stopped... and like just being with her made me incrediablely happy....everything about her drives me crazy she is sooo perfect... and i cant remember a bigger smile I have ever had then wen she kissed me before I went on the bus on thursday(march 10) but just like everything good in my life that happens shit like this never lasts... yah she dumped me:( it hit me hard... i lost it and ultimately hurt my self in ways i thought i never could cuz I always thought I would have been to scared....but feelings make me do crazy things.... well anyways... I cryed all day on friday (march 11) cuz like i never saw it coming.... and during the day i tryed to believe it was all a dream... but then i looked on my arm and saw my cuts.... and i knew this was a nightmare... a nightmare that was a hundred percent true... and like the fact that wen she told me it was over I just walked away so I never really new why... i was too scared to listen... cuz if i would have stood there to listen i dont think i could have kept a straight face and control my tears... well i guess this story has an okay ending cuz we met up before B period and we just looked at each other... and hugged... it felt right.... i dont really remember what was said besides "i never wanted to hurt you... cuz i still care about you alot" but just talking to her for those few seconds made a very big impact cuz I bet if I never talked to her I would still be a crying dork...feeling sorry for myself.... but i dont feel bad anymore... all i feel is some semi sadness cuz i miss her... i miss being that happy... but hey, maybe something might happen that i wont expect.
well anyways friday night i went to the mall with Mairead, Peru, Chris Colon,Angie,Sam, and Toya and Alyssa... i wont lie i was still bummed about the Kendra thing but I was gonna try to have a good night. I chilled with Alyssa and Mairead and Chris for most of the night...we were just being stupid... like usual...we went to the Dollar store to buy this cd... with some song on it called "running from the po po's (funny shit) lol so of coarse with a name like that i must buy it... after the dollar store me and mairead and alyssa sat down at the food coart with Jakob to eat the milkshakes we just bought... as i was talking with them I suddenly got really happy... cuz I was forgeting about how sucky of a day i had... so i guess that was good... UNTIL....
I suddenly heard Jakob go "hey Spencer" (my ex that broke my heart) all i prayed was that Spencer wouldn't notice me... so I just got up and left but wen I turned around I noticed him smiling at me the way he used to...and i couldn't help but run back to him and hug him.... i flet perfect in his arms again... he still smelt the same way i remembered... and i still get lost in his baby blue eyes... he didn't change... i had to leave him cuz I remembered he had a girlfriend... and I know if i would have stayed there I would have prolly kissed him and I would have looked stupid... I didn't think he could possiblely still like me... so i left with mairead and alyssa but then I bumped in to him in FYE and he said "jenna i wish i never dumped you... cuz I still love you" my heart dropped... and started doing flipps in my chest and I new I had hearts in my eyes...In the corner of my eyes I noticed my friends leaving so I told him i had to go and then he gave me a kiss on the cheek....:) i floated out of FYE. an hour pasted before I saw him again... he told me he wanted to talk to me... and we were talking then the next thing I know is that hes kissing me... and im feeling happy again... and kendra is finally out of my mind...
after that he had to go so he kissed me again...and said he loved me... and i was very very happy. after the mall i slept over sams with Mairead and Angie... we had a good time... we went to bed kinda early... but then we woke up early to make "secret agents" and i had the munchies soooo bad lol my mom picked me up around 10 and i had to go all the way up to huntington from my cuzins 3rd birthday party... it was boring but its funny eating cake wen your high.... well spencer just called me and Im talking to him now and he called me sexy and i love him :)
well this was a long entry.... i wanna dedicate this song to you kendra here it is:
Cheek to Cheek
By: The Starting Line
Bound to say something, eyes closed,
It's cold, and I'm home
I feel like nothing again,
Pretending not to care, but I care,
And I care, don't say another word
Our time was worthless, and I tried
We started over and over again, as we let go
We held each other, held hands,
Held standards and grudges
That's when I let you know,
I guess that goes to show
Just what I've been going through,
More nights of hugging my pillow, oh
Replaying memories
Sing this song for me;
And tell me how you'll never leave my side
I'll meet you at 7
I miss you already, goodbye to you
(The last goodbye, I'll never say to you)
Time was worthless, and I tried
We started over and over again, as we let go
We held each other, held hands,
held standards and grudges
That's when I let you know,
I guess that goes to show
Sing this song for me;
And tell me how you'll never leave my side
I'll meet you at 7
I miss you already, goodbye to you
the last goodbye I'll ever say to you
And I tried so hard,
And I've done my part,
And not to mention most of all of yours
Try and feel,
Try and listen,
Try and think of what you're missing,
Try to look into my eyes.
TRY
Goodbye
Sing this song for me
And tell me how you'll never leave my side
I'll meet you at 7
I miss you already
Goodbye to you
The last goodbye I'll ever say to you
Replaying memories
You'll never leave my side
****AND UNTIL TOMARROW...****