(no subject)
Yesterday I went to a meeting where my Pastor minilized everything I've done for the past four years. I left feeling more hurt than I've felt in a long time. The idea of the meeting was to discuss what the youth group is doing and talk about next year. That was the first half an hour and that was fine but then Jenny says, "We know you spend a lot of your own money on the group" and I said, "well you know I've never really complained about that." and Jenny started talking about a fund, which was funny since one of things the church is always saying that there is no extra money. She was of course trying to sidestep/bullshit around the fact that she wanted to stop paying me. You know I am a reasonable person and I get that there might be less to go around and I might need to take a pay cut but how dare you act like I'm stupid and say shit like that. And then she said that a youth ministers job should be a volunteer position and that I really shouldn't be compensated and that it was a mistake to have been doing that this whole time. And I thought, first of all it is a legimate job and it is a lot of work, not to mention a lot of heart and personal devotion and care. When the rest of the comitee argued with her that they did not have any problem paying me and they were happy with the job she said, "well what does she do like an hour of work a week" and I wanted to leave the church and never come back. My mother said, "i've seen you stay up all night doing things for that youth programs, spend your own money and everything else" I mean how dare she minilize my work. I stayed until I was dismissed. I went home and cried for hours. More later, cause my kids are coming back.