(no subject)
I hate group assignments. I always have and will.
It's fine with me if I get to pick people who I already know well enough but when random groups are assigned, it bites. I only have one group assignment this semester. Groups were just assigned a week ago and I'm already having this unsettling feeling.
No, I don't hate anyone in my group. I don't know them to make any judgements. And don't get me wrong, I love people and socializing but when it comes to my grades, I really do not want to work with strangers. Teamwork is good. But when I don't know people in my workgroup, I have a feeling that I probably come off as some stereotypical goody two shoes asian chick who does homework for giggles. If nobody says anything about getting something done, I'll immediately come out and volunteer to do it. Why? Because I really don't want people to start pointing fingers at someone who will go, "I don't really want to but...".
*scream*
I don't want to either but my God if half my grade depends on groupwork, I sure as hell want to put effort into it. I can't stand silences, so I usually start giving out suggestions and offering to do things to break the ice and to get things going. I mean we all know we just want to get it over with and get out of the meetings. I honestly do want to slap myself at times for appearing over-interested perhaps...? Really, it's just because I don't know anything about my group members except for their names. So I just try to be friendly (no matter how plastic I must seem), get things done, and get on with other things in my hectic schedule. I'm not some psychotic overachiever. Hah, how far from the truth could that be?
Even when I had lab partners, I'd volunteer to do things if they didn't seem interested in it. Well, that's kind of a given. I mean if you ever had a lab partner who's a lazy donkey, you know what I mean. It's not even about not being smart and getting it perfect, I just appreciate effort.
This isn't a rant about my group members at all. They've all been fine and equal in efforts. I'm just pissed at random group assignments to get projects done because I hate feeling awkward not knowing how to behave and talk to strangers at meetings and such. Sticking to the norms makes me a robot, breaking norms makes me a clown. AAH!
On a side note, am feeling pretty overwhelmed with life at the moment. So much to do and I've hardly any proper rest and sleep time. I have 18 credits of classes, I work 10+ hours a week, I'm in volunteer training twice a week for 4 hour sessions (which also includes more reading!)...and I have to get all this GRE, grad school and Visa shit sorted out by December. It seems like if I don't have an exam coming up, I have homework to do. If I don't have homework to do, I have to work because I desperately need the extra money. I hate to bitchbitchbitch but I can't help myself.
Gah. I really appreciate the financial comfort of my childhood when I'm at the grocery store trying to choose between either buying more bread or more pasta because I'm not able to really afford both at the same time thanks to a tight budget. Still, not as bad as last semester when I basically switched between either tuna or ham sandwiches and water every freaking day for a whole month plus.
I got home today and thought fuck it. I'm taking a break. I walked into my apartment, leaving a trail of the stuff I had with me on the floor and headed straight for the kitchen. I made one of those just-add-water marble cakes, dumped chocolate icing on top and sat down and played 2 different Star Wars video games and watched a bunch of The Simpsons episodes. And now I'm probably going to keep working on my book for 2 hours till I decide crash out.
Wow. This meant to be a quick short rant, but looks like I really gave it to my keyboard.
It's fine with me if I get to pick people who I already know well enough but when random groups are assigned, it bites. I only have one group assignment this semester. Groups were just assigned a week ago and I'm already having this unsettling feeling.
No, I don't hate anyone in my group. I don't know them to make any judgements. And don't get me wrong, I love people and socializing but when it comes to my grades, I really do not want to work with strangers. Teamwork is good. But when I don't know people in my workgroup, I have a feeling that I probably come off as some stereotypical goody two shoes asian chick who does homework for giggles. If nobody says anything about getting something done, I'll immediately come out and volunteer to do it. Why? Because I really don't want people to start pointing fingers at someone who will go, "I don't really want to but...".
*scream*
I don't want to either but my God if half my grade depends on groupwork, I sure as hell want to put effort into it. I can't stand silences, so I usually start giving out suggestions and offering to do things to break the ice and to get things going. I mean we all know we just want to get it over with and get out of the meetings. I honestly do want to slap myself at times for appearing over-interested perhaps...? Really, it's just because I don't know anything about my group members except for their names. So I just try to be friendly (no matter how plastic I must seem), get things done, and get on with other things in my hectic schedule. I'm not some psychotic overachiever. Hah, how far from the truth could that be?
Even when I had lab partners, I'd volunteer to do things if they didn't seem interested in it. Well, that's kind of a given. I mean if you ever had a lab partner who's a lazy donkey, you know what I mean. It's not even about not being smart and getting it perfect, I just appreciate effort.
This isn't a rant about my group members at all. They've all been fine and equal in efforts. I'm just pissed at random group assignments to get projects done because I hate feeling awkward not knowing how to behave and talk to strangers at meetings and such. Sticking to the norms makes me a robot, breaking norms makes me a clown. AAH!
On a side note, am feeling pretty overwhelmed with life at the moment. So much to do and I've hardly any proper rest and sleep time. I have 18 credits of classes, I work 10+ hours a week, I'm in volunteer training twice a week for 4 hour sessions (which also includes more reading!)...and I have to get all this GRE, grad school and Visa shit sorted out by December. It seems like if I don't have an exam coming up, I have homework to do. If I don't have homework to do, I have to work because I desperately need the extra money. I hate to bitchbitchbitch but I can't help myself.
Gah. I really appreciate the financial comfort of my childhood when I'm at the grocery store trying to choose between either buying more bread or more pasta because I'm not able to really afford both at the same time thanks to a tight budget. Still, not as bad as last semester when I basically switched between either tuna or ham sandwiches and water every freaking day for a whole month plus.
I got home today and thought fuck it. I'm taking a break. I walked into my apartment, leaving a trail of the stuff I had with me on the floor and headed straight for the kitchen. I made one of those just-add-water marble cakes, dumped chocolate icing on top and sat down and played 2 different Star Wars video games and watched a bunch of The Simpsons episodes. And now I'm probably going to keep working on my book for 2 hours till I decide crash out.
Wow. This meant to be a quick short rant, but looks like I really gave it to my keyboard.