(no subject)
Where do I start? Lets start with last week...
Last week my brother had called, we told him he couldn't stay here and he seemed fine with it. He agreed that it'd be best that he go into a rehabilitation facility to help him learn to walk again, and get himself better. That was a relief on all of us...
Unfortunately, the following day after hearing from him I got a headache, which is common for me to get. Except the headache turned into a migraine which I still have... Hence why I had the MRI done this week. To find out why my headaches are coming back and lasting for such a long period of time.
Well after I went to the MRI and got home, I took my meds to help ease the pain I was feeling. Low and behold, my brother calls us. He called to let us know that he was getting out thursday morning, and he had no where to go. Apparently the person who was working with him to get him into a rehab facility was having troubles doing it. So he was going to need to stay here for a few weeks.
When we tried to explain to him that it was not feasible for him to stay here, he got irate. He began yelling at our mom, insulting her and trying to tear her down. Then he turned his wrath on my children.... which was a big mistake on his part... Most that know me, know I had three kids... Two were put up for adoption... Well he decided to attack my children as a way to attack me because he knows that's the only way to hurt me is to go after my kids like he did... Needless to say... Shit hit the fan, I went off...
Towards the end of the argument with my brother, he threatened my mom that he'd never speak to her again after calling her a horrible person... but in meaner words... She told him if that's how he feels so be it, but he has no right to yell at her and hung up... After that, she collapsed into her chair she started having a massive panic attack and broke down. I tried to convey to her, that if he does not talk to her to not worry... She and I went through that many years ago, it will take him to growing up before he realizes he was wrong for what he's done. That eased her a little.
Well, thursday rolled around. I got to the docs and found out that he didn't have the films of my MRI yet. So he said come back next week and we'll discuss them. I was like ok fine, its no problem. I lived with the headaches for 20 years now, its nothing new. Well after getting home, we found a notice from the phone company. Which just caused more stress, and I kinda had a break down, which I think scared my friend I was talking to. After getting things fixed, I did my best to try and be happy and make like nothing was wrong in my life. Like I generally try to do. A friend of mine talked with me for a bit, and I kinda stuck my foot in my mouth when talking with him. Heh, oh well right? Shit happens.
Last night after everyone went to bed, I had a break down. I tried calling a few friends to talk to but no one answered their phones. Which is ok, it was kinda late so I sat for two hours outside crying, cause I am so frustrated that I don't know what to do anymore. Here I am, I'm suppose to be the happy person... the person with such optimism... the one who looks to the silver lining in everything... and yet right now all I can see are gray skies and rain...
Anyway, this morning I woke up... and I just needed to write... so I wrote this blog.
Last week my brother had called, we told him he couldn't stay here and he seemed fine with it. He agreed that it'd be best that he go into a rehabilitation facility to help him learn to walk again, and get himself better. That was a relief on all of us...
Unfortunately, the following day after hearing from him I got a headache, which is common for me to get. Except the headache turned into a migraine which I still have... Hence why I had the MRI done this week. To find out why my headaches are coming back and lasting for such a long period of time.
Well after I went to the MRI and got home, I took my meds to help ease the pain I was feeling. Low and behold, my brother calls us. He called to let us know that he was getting out thursday morning, and he had no where to go. Apparently the person who was working with him to get him into a rehab facility was having troubles doing it. So he was going to need to stay here for a few weeks.
When we tried to explain to him that it was not feasible for him to stay here, he got irate. He began yelling at our mom, insulting her and trying to tear her down. Then he turned his wrath on my children.... which was a big mistake on his part... Most that know me, know I had three kids... Two were put up for adoption... Well he decided to attack my children as a way to attack me because he knows that's the only way to hurt me is to go after my kids like he did... Needless to say... Shit hit the fan, I went off...
Towards the end of the argument with my brother, he threatened my mom that he'd never speak to her again after calling her a horrible person... but in meaner words... She told him if that's how he feels so be it, but he has no right to yell at her and hung up... After that, she collapsed into her chair she started having a massive panic attack and broke down. I tried to convey to her, that if he does not talk to her to not worry... She and I went through that many years ago, it will take him to growing up before he realizes he was wrong for what he's done. That eased her a little.
Well, thursday rolled around. I got to the docs and found out that he didn't have the films of my MRI yet. So he said come back next week and we'll discuss them. I was like ok fine, its no problem. I lived with the headaches for 20 years now, its nothing new. Well after getting home, we found a notice from the phone company. Which just caused more stress, and I kinda had a break down, which I think scared my friend I was talking to. After getting things fixed, I did my best to try and be happy and make like nothing was wrong in my life. Like I generally try to do. A friend of mine talked with me for a bit, and I kinda stuck my foot in my mouth when talking with him. Heh, oh well right? Shit happens.
Last night after everyone went to bed, I had a break down. I tried calling a few friends to talk to but no one answered their phones. Which is ok, it was kinda late so I sat for two hours outside crying, cause I am so frustrated that I don't know what to do anymore. Here I am, I'm suppose to be the happy person... the person with such optimism... the one who looks to the silver lining in everything... and yet right now all I can see are gray skies and rain...
Anyway, this morning I woke up... and I just needed to write... so I wrote this blog.