Jan 19, 2005 21:47
Right now i feel hurt, i feel used and most of all, i feel stupid. I was so fucking dumb that i actually thought he liked me. that maybe for the first time i ever, i had a shot of being happy. i was happy...funny though, because the majority of the time it was with him. But no, was to blind to see what had really happened. I was running the same situation over and over again. "hi, hello my names jacqui. Im a fucking idiot so please feel free to make me fall for you and walk all over my heart." i think thats going to be my motto from now on.
the worst is...i still want him. And i haven't even talked to him! I was planning on it today, until laurie brought up the whole thing...and then i started to think about it.
Its just like the whole colin thing....except i was led to believe different....
...but this hurts so much more...
so much fucking more....
why can't i stop crying?