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what do you do when you feel like you are not important to anyone? i try so hard, i tried so hard. can't people just say "no I don't want you" instead of trying to make things sound better then they are? is it really selfish of me to want you, you are like my best friend, plus more. im sad. that sums it up. im just sad. I feel like i'm not good enough. its horrible. to work so hard to make someone else feel like they are the most important thing ever, and not to feel it yourself. WHAT IS GOING ON? I have no confidence now, Im back to second guessing everything thats said. I want to be happy. if it was easy to stop crying, i'd love it. i just keep thinking..what did I do wrong?
2 weeks....
i loved the dinner you cooked me, the movie, icecream, cuddling and shower. I even loved the walk through the scary woods, i felt safe. my finger still hurts, and i still smell like your body wash.
my birthday is in 2 days...i dont want it to come. I know its not going to be what I wanted. I wanted Ryan here. but he wont be. i'm not trying to be a bitch, or selfish about the 12th...I just wanted a nice day..a perfect day. this is what I want: Ryan to be here, a big chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, flowers. Thats all. and maybe to go dancing, or even to have a party. and have friends that care. mainly, just to have that kid from dearborn here...thats all.
well, im going to go lay down...cuddle with maggie.
much love
p.s i miss todd...he loves me ;) :(
2 weeks....
i loved the dinner you cooked me, the movie, icecream, cuddling and shower. I even loved the walk through the scary woods, i felt safe. my finger still hurts, and i still smell like your body wash.
my birthday is in 2 days...i dont want it to come. I know its not going to be what I wanted. I wanted Ryan here. but he wont be. i'm not trying to be a bitch, or selfish about the 12th...I just wanted a nice day..a perfect day. this is what I want: Ryan to be here, a big chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, flowers. Thats all. and maybe to go dancing, or even to have a party. and have friends that care. mainly, just to have that kid from dearborn here...thats all.
well, im going to go lay down...cuddle with maggie.
much love
p.s i miss todd...he loves me ;) :(