Attack of the PMS monster??
I'm feeling so blaaaah right now. I think depressed is too harsh a word, but I cant stop thinking about all the things I want to do and how it feels like Im trying to run through water. You know, when the waters up to your knees or thighs and you try to run through it. yeah.
I'm back at my moms place and we spent the whole day trying to reorganize the house. I think we went through 6 boxes and threw a bunch of other stuff out. I made a pile of stuff we have to go through tomorrow. But at the end of the day when I looked at what we accomplished it just looks like we got nothing done. Thankfully hoarders is on today... looking at those houses makes this one look CLEAN! Its not that we hoard... yet... but thee renos really displaced a lot of things and stuff is just everywhere. It took me over an hour to find all the painting supplies, rollers, paint brushes, and whatever effing else, cause everything was everywhere. EVEN after that, as I was trying to move my brothers things into one spot/pile (he moved back in. which doesnt help at all with clutter. not that Im complaining that hes back here, I have no problem that way, hes a good kid... just... so much stuff! bad timing but yeah) I noticed a whole lot of other paint stuff that I had missed. Its still sitting where I found it because I just couldnt be bothered move it. Its kinda disheartening. I feel like if we spent 8 hours a day cleaning it would take the three of us a year to get it back to normal.
So the drive here is six hours from my house. It gives me a lot of time to think... and sing really badly, really loudly. And so, I dont know how i came around to it, but I started thinking about the saying "have your cake and eat it too" and how I don't understand it at all. It makes zero sense to me. Why would you have a cake and not eat it? Thats the whole reason the cake exists, is to be eaten. Would you go to the store, buy a cake, bring it home, and then just set it on the counter and look at it. Would you think, "mmmm thats a good looking cake. Too bad I'm not going to eat it!!!" Really, no sense. So I then had an ah-ha moment. Cake is life and eating it is living it. Being alive is like having the cake. Now, are you gonna eat it or not??? I want to eat it! Maybe I had been to scared to do so before... but I really want to know. OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.
I will be so happy if we get these 5 boxes done tomorrow. SO HAPPY.
Quickly I guess. I got up early today... earlier than I had been last week... but still not the time I wanted to get up. But oh well. Tomorrow's another day.
On the PTJ front I did some review in the way of trying to explain rules and forms and crap to my mom while she cooked dinner. I also had her pick words and I looked them up in the dictionary and tried to say them out loud. im having a lot of problems with words where vowels are next to eachother.... I cant think of an example. tai is easy cuz I've heard the speaker on the Michel Thomas stuff say it a bunch and I get it... sai... is easy... but I'm having problems saying it smoothly. So this practice was good I guess. Even though its not like progressive studying its better than nothing right? I really would like an English to Japanese phrase book though... that would be nice.
Yay! The battery is about to die!!!