Nov 08, 2004 08:24
I constantly put myself through shit that I really know better about. One word, Gennifer. I mean really- need I say more? Not really, everyone's heard it before. But on what seems to be this beautiful Monday morning that's the only person I can think about.
***I know right about now Tasha's having a flashback of me in a mini van and Bar-b-que chips*** but stay with me...
She's always charming me, always controlling, always haunting me. I can't escape it no matter how I try. Is it a scam? I can never tell. That's where my weakness is, I can just never tell. The time we spent to together last week was short lived and un fulfilling. Is it because I can never have as much of her as I want? Or is it because I'm always sharing her? Am i even sharing her now? It's probably one sided. It hate knowing that there IS one person out there that I just can't have. Not because she doesn't want me, but because I can't give her what she wants. Kids. Normalcy. The occasional penis.
All these things can be worked around: It's called Adoption, moving to Vermont, and a strap on. But I don't think she quite sees it that way. I have so many new things going on in my life but no matter what, there has always been this constant. I love her. And that kills me, because it's just not enough.
Without me sapping anymore the bright side.... BOYZ II MEN is coming to town! Oh yeah baby! *Get busy, get busy* Y'all know how excited I am about that! No Question. Can you say groupie? I think so. Oh yeah here's the funny thing, guess who's going with me? That's right... Gennifer. Should I trust myself in a room with 3 of the hottest males on the planet AND the girl of my dreams? We'll see.
P-town in T minus 15 days..... Tasha, are ya ready?
Chelsea OUt