So *shivers* Freaking *cough cough* Cold
Holy crap it work! I took some Melatonin last night at around 10, I actually got to sleep! I slept for what seemed like forever. Hell I even dreamt! This hasn't happened in many months. I'm so happy. I woke up at 11 which is great for me. I wanted to wake up at 10 but that's ok. :D I didn't sleep through the whole night. I woke up a lot, talked to Shaun fell asleep. I did that every two hours I think. I don't mind I mean I still actually got some sleep. I think the problem is that my brain just doesn't want to go to sleep. Ever. It's tough to try and trick myself into sleep. I am a very anxious person to begin with, not sleeping makes me worry and think. I don't understand how shaun can just lay down next to me and snooze away. It's upsetting because there he is getting a perfectly healthy amount of sleep and there I am getting only six to five hours worth.
It's really cold all of a sudden. I wore capris last week and now I have to grab a hoodie every time I leave. Shaun is back to keeping blankets in the car, he likes to put them over both of us then drive like a grandma. Yesterday we took Abby for a drive, we went house shopping and ate at Mcdonalds, which makes my stomach hurt. I have been able not to eat for a couple days but yesterday I crammed everything into my mouth. I feel bad about myself. Natalie and Heather scolded me, forced me to eat, then told me I was smart enough to know that this is not how you loose weight. I told my mom, she ignored me. I don't think she gives a shit. She wants me to be just like her, well hey if I develope an eating disorder maybe she'll care for a second. I'm not sure what happened to our relationship but it doesn't matter any more. *sigh*
I applied for lap band surgery. I can't get it because of my acid reflux. God damn it.
It's really cold all of a sudden. I wore capris last week and now I have to grab a hoodie every time I leave. Shaun is back to keeping blankets in the car, he likes to put them over both of us then drive like a grandma. Yesterday we took Abby for a drive, we went house shopping and ate at Mcdonalds, which makes my stomach hurt. I have been able not to eat for a couple days but yesterday I crammed everything into my mouth. I feel bad about myself. Natalie and Heather scolded me, forced me to eat, then told me I was smart enough to know that this is not how you loose weight. I told my mom, she ignored me. I don't think she gives a shit. She wants me to be just like her, well hey if I develope an eating disorder maybe she'll care for a second. I'm not sure what happened to our relationship but it doesn't matter any more. *sigh*
I applied for lap band surgery. I can't get it because of my acid reflux. God damn it.