Line in the sand
I've just run into my first real discrimination because I'm gay - and from a family member to boot.
What's been happening.... (all inter-related eventually)
First, Mega-con is this weekend. I've been planning on attending for a few months, but I was waiting to see what my bonus was like. It was enough that I could afford to go without guilt.
Second, I like to take my nieces to cons in their area, so I offered to take them. Turns out only the oldest is available.
Third, I've gone out with R a few times. We haven't gotten serious, but we've been having fun. (Although I also learned tonight she's not really wanting a relationship, and probably not even a fling right now.)
Fourth, my brother and his family live close enough to Orlando to make it convenient to stay there.
Fifth, I asked my brother if it was okay to bring R along before inviting her. He said okay.
Got it? Okay. So Sunday, my SIL called about getting stuff for my oldest niece's birthday. I mentioned I would be there this weekend with a friend who was on the way to being a GF. Finished the conversation, no problem.
A short time later, my brother called - he was in the dog house. He hadn't told her. Better yet, she has now decided she has problems with my gayness. She doesn't want the girls to be exposed to the possibility of me *gasp* holding hands or maybe kissing. (She'd have no problem with her brother having a girlfriend.) (In case you're wondering, I'm not a big PDA person - public making out is not my thing. And we're not at make out stage anyway. And I had no intention of having sex in their house - to me, that's a lack of respect to my hosts, especially with someone I wasn't serious with yet.)
And supposedly she asked my niece if she'd have problems with my having a gf there, and she said she would. So another person to reject me for stupid reasons.
My brother (and this is a stunner, trust me) is okay with me having a girlfriend along. He even said if I got married he'd be there. I don't know who this person that kidnapped my brother is, but I kind of like him. He doesn't agree with her.
So apparently they had a fight. And he lost. I can come there, sure. But besides having to stay in separate rooms (on opposite ends of the house) we aren't allowed to engage in any physical contact. My brother had the dubious pleasure of calling me with this judgment.
So I canceled. Told him I'm not coming and I'm not taking my niece. I don't feel welcome there.
I came home to find a message from my SIL that says she is not ready to expose the girls (13 & 15) to that "sort" of relationship. I've been out to my brother and SIL for almost 10 years. In that time, they didn't find it necessary to even tell my nieces I was gay - I ended up outing myself to them two years ago when I took them to Jacon. This apparently caused some trauma because the girls were upset at their parents for not telling them. So what the hell have they been doing or saying the past few years?
My mom actually understands and offered to get involved - I told her not to; save it for a bigger battle which is sure to happen around the holidays. I'm on speaking terms with my brother - I plan on writing him a letter telling him where I stand.
I'm drawing a line in the sand. I'm not going back. I'm not visiting my SIL or my nieces until I get an apology and an invitation for me AND girlfriend (whichever one that might be) to visit without stupid rules. They can visit me, but if they do, they have to deal with the fact I am out and will not hide or go back in the closet for anyone. (Hell, if I don't have a girlfriend then, I'll find a friend to play one - just to fuck with her.)
What's been happening.... (all inter-related eventually)
First, Mega-con is this weekend. I've been planning on attending for a few months, but I was waiting to see what my bonus was like. It was enough that I could afford to go without guilt.
Second, I like to take my nieces to cons in their area, so I offered to take them. Turns out only the oldest is available.
Third, I've gone out with R a few times. We haven't gotten serious, but we've been having fun. (Although I also learned tonight she's not really wanting a relationship, and probably not even a fling right now.)
Fourth, my brother and his family live close enough to Orlando to make it convenient to stay there.
Fifth, I asked my brother if it was okay to bring R along before inviting her. He said okay.
Got it? Okay. So Sunday, my SIL called about getting stuff for my oldest niece's birthday. I mentioned I would be there this weekend with a friend who was on the way to being a GF. Finished the conversation, no problem.
A short time later, my brother called - he was in the dog house. He hadn't told her. Better yet, she has now decided she has problems with my gayness. She doesn't want the girls to be exposed to the possibility of me *gasp* holding hands or maybe kissing. (She'd have no problem with her brother having a girlfriend.) (In case you're wondering, I'm not a big PDA person - public making out is not my thing. And we're not at make out stage anyway. And I had no intention of having sex in their house - to me, that's a lack of respect to my hosts, especially with someone I wasn't serious with yet.)
And supposedly she asked my niece if she'd have problems with my having a gf there, and she said she would. So another person to reject me for stupid reasons.
My brother (and this is a stunner, trust me) is okay with me having a girlfriend along. He even said if I got married he'd be there. I don't know who this person that kidnapped my brother is, but I kind of like him. He doesn't agree with her.
So apparently they had a fight. And he lost. I can come there, sure. But besides having to stay in separate rooms (on opposite ends of the house) we aren't allowed to engage in any physical contact. My brother had the dubious pleasure of calling me with this judgment.
So I canceled. Told him I'm not coming and I'm not taking my niece. I don't feel welcome there.
I came home to find a message from my SIL that says she is not ready to expose the girls (13 & 15) to that "sort" of relationship. I've been out to my brother and SIL for almost 10 years. In that time, they didn't find it necessary to even tell my nieces I was gay - I ended up outing myself to them two years ago when I took them to Jacon. This apparently caused some trauma because the girls were upset at their parents for not telling them. So what the hell have they been doing or saying the past few years?
My mom actually understands and offered to get involved - I told her not to; save it for a bigger battle which is sure to happen around the holidays. I'm on speaking terms with my brother - I plan on writing him a letter telling him where I stand.
I'm drawing a line in the sand. I'm not going back. I'm not visiting my SIL or my nieces until I get an apology and an invitation for me AND girlfriend (whichever one that might be) to visit without stupid rules. They can visit me, but if they do, they have to deal with the fact I am out and will not hide or go back in the closet for anyone. (Hell, if I don't have a girlfriend then, I'll find a friend to play one - just to fuck with her.)