I can't sleep.
Some days it's just easier to be charming...
It seems like my thoughts are never the same from day to day. I know that sounds obvious but some days things seem so hopeless. The bright side, I suppose, is getting to have the days where things feel all right. It's 1AM and I can't sleep. Things must be getting back to normal again.
I got a new job waiting tables in town that I enjoy now, it's nice to change sometimes. Still, it seems like I'm still in a bit of a rut. Maybe it's just a self esteem thing, I don't know. I've felt pretty down all winter in a lot of ways. Seasonal depression I guess, everyone goes through it. The constant theme of these posts I put on here seems to be looking forward to finding something I care about. How come I never can? There has got to be something. I know I'm not that narcissistic. I don't like myself enough.
I guess it would be appropriate to talk about my situation with Chelsie on here, seeing how it is my journal and all, but I can't even think of what to say. I'm sort of just avoiding the subject all together.
Whoever is out there reading this should probably understand that I usually don't make sense. And I complain a lot. But if you're reading this, you already know that.
It seems like my thoughts are never the same from day to day. I know that sounds obvious but some days things seem so hopeless. The bright side, I suppose, is getting to have the days where things feel all right. It's 1AM and I can't sleep. Things must be getting back to normal again.
I got a new job waiting tables in town that I enjoy now, it's nice to change sometimes. Still, it seems like I'm still in a bit of a rut. Maybe it's just a self esteem thing, I don't know. I've felt pretty down all winter in a lot of ways. Seasonal depression I guess, everyone goes through it. The constant theme of these posts I put on here seems to be looking forward to finding something I care about. How come I never can? There has got to be something. I know I'm not that narcissistic. I don't like myself enough.
I guess it would be appropriate to talk about my situation with Chelsie on here, seeing how it is my journal and all, but I can't even think of what to say. I'm sort of just avoiding the subject all together.
Whoever is out there reading this should probably understand that I usually don't make sense. And I complain a lot. But if you're reading this, you already know that.