Untitled #16 (Slash, PG)
Title: Untitled #16
Rating: PG
Category: Slash oneshot
Word Count: 703
Characters: Sam/Dean
Spoilers: Vague up through 4.10.
Summary: Because Sam and Dean are in love.
Warnings: Brother incest.
Author’s Notes: Sometimes I get a bunch of words in my head, and I mix them up and throw them out to see where they land. Sometimes they do things. This is a general idea I've had in my mind for a while, and it's written in a really rambly and quite messy format way too late at night. But, here it is because, eh, I'm kinda fond of it anyway, despite its crazy lil' way. Written to "Crosses" by José González (listen)
Disclaimer: The following characters and situations are used without permission of the creators, owners, and further affiliates of the television show, Supernatural, to whom they rightly belong. I claim only what is mine, and I make no money off what is theirs.
- - - - -
No one's ever asked him why. He doesn't suppose that anyone ever will. Except himself. He's the only person who has asked, Why do you love him, Sam? Why do you love Dean?
When he asks himself, he always answers.
Because he's my brother. Because he's self-sacrificing, and he'll give and bleed for me more than anyone else in this world ever can or ever will. Because he sold his soul to a demon in a black dress so I could open my eyes, look upon this world, and draw another breath even though it meant he would stare down the dark tunnel of Hell for a year and cry in its pits for another four months-another forty years.
Because he knows my every secret-the ones I've kept hidden from even myself, the ones that don't really matter for anything but a blink of the eye, and the ones that matter so much they hurt at their sheer thought. Because he knows these secrets, and he never judges me in spite of them or turns his eyes away.
Because when he was four years old, only a child-a child in his pajamas and bare feet-he saved my life from demon’s fire and ran across the dark grass with me in his arms. Because over twenty years later, he's never stopped saving my life, even if the only time he can hold me in his arms now is when we crash, fall, and come together like planets colliding among the stars.
Because even in his anger, his darkest moments of human rage, it's never lasting like the hundreds of grudges I've watched him hold before. Because he makes me laugh when I'm crying or bleeding or aching deep down inside where no medicine can ever heal. Because he's beautiful, inside, out, all over, in more than the glow of his eyes at sunset or the way his freckles can only be seen when he's just emerged from the shower with skin, soft and warm.
Because he taught me everything I know, from how to write my alphabet or holding a gun or how to love, truly, completely and forever. Because when he kisses me with his eyes closed, I can feel it in him that this is no one night stand, no half-hearted attempt at passion and that this is it for the both of us. Because we can fight, spit and sling insults and fists, but, more importantly, we can fully and wholly forgive one another in a way that would make even the pious angels jealous. Because he needs me and I need him, and we don’t give a damn if he's my weakness and I'm his, so long as we're together in this.
Because when I fall asleep, curled into him, he lets me sleep and pulls the blankets over me, kissing the top of my head and wrapping his arms around me to never let me go all night long. Because it doesn’t matter if we fall asleep in clothing, in skin, under the blankets or in the back of the car, we’re going to sleep entwined.
Because he let me leave for California and collegiate hopes since it was my dream for a new life-a safe life-even if it meant he would stay behind and suffer alone, suffer silently in my absence. Because he let me leave, knowing that no matter how many school credits and fat textbooks, how many girls and miles and broken years came between us, I'd still come back to him in the end.
Because he watched me die and I watched him die, and nothing, nothing ever-not even the death of the whole goddamn world itself-can equal the loss and pain we felt in those moments. Because at the end of the day, at night when the shadows fall after the battle, after Heaven and Hell itself come to our doorstop to separate us, we're always going to come home to each other-home that is each other.
Because he is my brother, he is my love.
Because he is my love, he is my brother.
Because-because, I love him. That's why. That is why.
End
"Crosses" by José Gonzalez
Rating: PG
Category: Slash oneshot
Word Count: 703
Characters: Sam/Dean
Spoilers: Vague up through 4.10.
Summary: Because Sam and Dean are in love.
Warnings: Brother incest.
Author’s Notes: Sometimes I get a bunch of words in my head, and I mix them up and throw them out to see where they land. Sometimes they do things. This is a general idea I've had in my mind for a while, and it's written in a really rambly and quite messy format way too late at night. But, here it is because, eh, I'm kinda fond of it anyway, despite its crazy lil' way. Written to "Crosses" by José González (listen)
Disclaimer: The following characters and situations are used without permission of the creators, owners, and further affiliates of the television show, Supernatural, to whom they rightly belong. I claim only what is mine, and I make no money off what is theirs.
- - - - -
No one's ever asked him why. He doesn't suppose that anyone ever will. Except himself. He's the only person who has asked, Why do you love him, Sam? Why do you love Dean?
When he asks himself, he always answers.
Because he's my brother. Because he's self-sacrificing, and he'll give and bleed for me more than anyone else in this world ever can or ever will. Because he sold his soul to a demon in a black dress so I could open my eyes, look upon this world, and draw another breath even though it meant he would stare down the dark tunnel of Hell for a year and cry in its pits for another four months-another forty years.
Because he knows my every secret-the ones I've kept hidden from even myself, the ones that don't really matter for anything but a blink of the eye, and the ones that matter so much they hurt at their sheer thought. Because he knows these secrets, and he never judges me in spite of them or turns his eyes away.
Because when he was four years old, only a child-a child in his pajamas and bare feet-he saved my life from demon’s fire and ran across the dark grass with me in his arms. Because over twenty years later, he's never stopped saving my life, even if the only time he can hold me in his arms now is when we crash, fall, and come together like planets colliding among the stars.
Because even in his anger, his darkest moments of human rage, it's never lasting like the hundreds of grudges I've watched him hold before. Because he makes me laugh when I'm crying or bleeding or aching deep down inside where no medicine can ever heal. Because he's beautiful, inside, out, all over, in more than the glow of his eyes at sunset or the way his freckles can only be seen when he's just emerged from the shower with skin, soft and warm.
Because he taught me everything I know, from how to write my alphabet or holding a gun or how to love, truly, completely and forever. Because when he kisses me with his eyes closed, I can feel it in him that this is no one night stand, no half-hearted attempt at passion and that this is it for the both of us. Because we can fight, spit and sling insults and fists, but, more importantly, we can fully and wholly forgive one another in a way that would make even the pious angels jealous. Because he needs me and I need him, and we don’t give a damn if he's my weakness and I'm his, so long as we're together in this.
Because when I fall asleep, curled into him, he lets me sleep and pulls the blankets over me, kissing the top of my head and wrapping his arms around me to never let me go all night long. Because it doesn’t matter if we fall asleep in clothing, in skin, under the blankets or in the back of the car, we’re going to sleep entwined.
Because he let me leave for California and collegiate hopes since it was my dream for a new life-a safe life-even if it meant he would stay behind and suffer alone, suffer silently in my absence. Because he let me leave, knowing that no matter how many school credits and fat textbooks, how many girls and miles and broken years came between us, I'd still come back to him in the end.
Because he watched me die and I watched him die, and nothing, nothing ever-not even the death of the whole goddamn world itself-can equal the loss and pain we felt in those moments. Because at the end of the day, at night when the shadows fall after the battle, after Heaven and Hell itself come to our doorstop to separate us, we're always going to come home to each other-home that is each other.
Because he is my brother, he is my love.
Because he is my love, he is my brother.
Because-because, I love him. That's why. That is why.
End
"Crosses" by José Gonzalez