[atwt] 1161 words of Luke and Noah
As the World Turns / Luke-Noah / Out Damn Spot / ~1943 words
Warnings: Character Death
It had been fifteen days since the last time Luke had spoken to Noah. If he checked the clock, he was pretty sure he could figure out the hours, minutes and possibly even seconds - but yet when Jack called and told Holden about the call at the cottage Noah shared with Ameera and that shots had been fired, he took off without even thinking twice about it.
When Luke arrived at the cottage, the street was partially blocked off with police cars and other vehicles with flashing lights. Bright yellow tape was strung around the house and he almost didn’t make it in until Dallas recognized him and lifted the tape for him.
He found Noah out front. Noah had his arms crossed in front of him and gripped himself so tightly, Luke worried Noah would leave bruises on his arms. A stiff flannel blanket had been wrapped around Noah’s shoulders, even though it was plenty warm out. There was a haunted expression to his face and Luke approached him slowly.
“Noah?” he asked quietly when he got a little closer. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to hold him, but right now, he didn’t know if that was a really good idea or a really bad one. When Noah didn’t answer him, Luke stepped closer, touched his fingertips lightly to Noah’s arm. “Noah?” he asked again.
This time, Noah looked up and Luke flinched when he caught Noah’s eyes. Whatever had happened tonight to put that look there, Luke wanted nothing more than to make it go away, make it better. “In there,” Noah began hoarsely. “They’re both in there.”
Luke didn’t have to ask what in there was, the only place he could mean was the cottage. He looked quickly behind the door, saw the blood all over the floor and that was enough.
“Come on, let’s go home.” Luke wrapped his arm around Noah’s shoulders and tried to lead him away from the house.
“Can’t yet,” Noah protested.
Luke shook his head. “Noah, you can’t do anything else and you can’t stay here. Dallas said you could leave. They know how to find you if they need you.”
At the farm, Noah walked stiffly to the seat on the porch and sat down. He’d had to surrender the scratchy blanket before they left and Luke went into the house to grab a quilt from the living room. He wrapped the quilt around Noah and noted with concern Noah’s clammy skin. He pulled it tighter and then sat next to him, careful not to sit too close.
“What happened?” he asked, feeling as though he were talking to a wild animal, that he had to speak quietly so Noah didn’t get spooked and run away.
Noah swallowed loudly enough that Luke could hear him and slowly shook his head. “I don’t know. Dad showed up and somehow made it past the guard Margo had set up since he escaped. He got into the house and got into it with Ameera, something how she wasn’t holding up her end of the deal.” He looked up at Luke then, blue eyes brimming with unshed tears. “They were in on it together, Luke. My dad and Ameera.” He shuddered before continuing. “I was supposed to get her pregnant. In dad’s warped mind, he figured that would make me feel obligated to stay with her, that I wouldn’t go back to you once she had her green card.”
Luke waited for Noah to continue at his own pace, though he really wanted to shake Noah’s shoulders, make him hurry, tell the story faster. He didn’t, knew it was a bad idea, but the urge was still there. Instead, he settled for resting one hand on Noah’s shoulder and couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief when Noah leaned a little into his touch.
“Only I didn’t get her pregnant, which to my dad meant that Ameera wasn’t doing her ‘job,’” he continued bitterly.
“So he decided to break out and come down here? Why?” Luke asked quietly, already half guessing the answer and worrying he might be right. Noah’s voice had slid into a monotonous whisper, as though he were reading a newspaper ad instead of telling Luke something much more important.
“He was going to help us. Thought if he could force us into bed, everything would work itself out.”
He shivered again and Luke slid his arm across Noah’s back, holding him closer, tighter.
“He got a gun from somewhere, I don’t even know where, and when I didn’t move to sleep with Ameera, he pulled it.” He laughed bitterly. “My own father was going to shoot me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He killed my mom, tried to kill Dusty, tried to kill you. But Ameera got in the way and she died for me. She died for me, Luke! And then dad, because anything was better than having a gay son, shot himself too.”
“Jesus, Noah,” Luke said. That explained everything - the shock, the deer in the headlights look Noah had had since they’d left the cottage, everything. How did you recover from watching your own father kill himself? Luke couldn’t even imagine.
Noah leaned into Luke, rested his head on Luke’s shoulder. “I have no one, now, Luke. No family, he took them all away.”
For the first time since Noah began his explanation, Luke was mad. Furious even. He sat up and held Noah’s chin in his fingers, forcing Noah to look at him. “What? No! Noah, you have a family. Everyone here at the farm - they love you.”
Noah snorted. “And look what I did to reward them. I shoved it back in their face. In your face.” Noah sighed, as though the weight of the whole situation was finally just too much, and his shoulders slumped. “I can’t imagine you’re even talking to me at all. How did you know?”
“Jack called Dad when the call came in. Look, Noah - you can’t help what your dad did.”
“Luke, he didn’t just try to kill someone because of me, he actually did it this time. How can anyone not see that when they look at me?”
No matter how much he wanted to, Luke knew that there was no way to get Noah to understand. Knew the answer would only come to him in time, could only be learned through the actions of everyone around him.
He cupped Noah’s face in his hands and leaned in close, touching their foreheads together. “Because we love you, you big dork.” Luke inhaled deeply before continuing. “Because I love you. I’ve told you before, I’ll tell you again You’re mine, no matter what happens.”
And maybe it was just his imagination or maybe it really happened, but Luke was pretty sure Noah’s shoulders relaxed just a little bit when he said that. Maybe, just maybe, they could fix everything that had happened between them.
Warnings: Character Death
It had been fifteen days since the last time Luke had spoken to Noah. If he checked the clock, he was pretty sure he could figure out the hours, minutes and possibly even seconds - but yet when Jack called and told Holden about the call at the cottage Noah shared with Ameera and that shots had been fired, he took off without even thinking twice about it.
When Luke arrived at the cottage, the street was partially blocked off with police cars and other vehicles with flashing lights. Bright yellow tape was strung around the house and he almost didn’t make it in until Dallas recognized him and lifted the tape for him.
He found Noah out front. Noah had his arms crossed in front of him and gripped himself so tightly, Luke worried Noah would leave bruises on his arms. A stiff flannel blanket had been wrapped around Noah’s shoulders, even though it was plenty warm out. There was a haunted expression to his face and Luke approached him slowly.
“Noah?” he asked quietly when he got a little closer. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to hold him, but right now, he didn’t know if that was a really good idea or a really bad one. When Noah didn’t answer him, Luke stepped closer, touched his fingertips lightly to Noah’s arm. “Noah?” he asked again.
This time, Noah looked up and Luke flinched when he caught Noah’s eyes. Whatever had happened tonight to put that look there, Luke wanted nothing more than to make it go away, make it better. “In there,” Noah began hoarsely. “They’re both in there.”
Luke didn’t have to ask what in there was, the only place he could mean was the cottage. He looked quickly behind the door, saw the blood all over the floor and that was enough.
“Come on, let’s go home.” Luke wrapped his arm around Noah’s shoulders and tried to lead him away from the house.
“Can’t yet,” Noah protested.
Luke shook his head. “Noah, you can’t do anything else and you can’t stay here. Dallas said you could leave. They know how to find you if they need you.”
At the farm, Noah walked stiffly to the seat on the porch and sat down. He’d had to surrender the scratchy blanket before they left and Luke went into the house to grab a quilt from the living room. He wrapped the quilt around Noah and noted with concern Noah’s clammy skin. He pulled it tighter and then sat next to him, careful not to sit too close.
“What happened?” he asked, feeling as though he were talking to a wild animal, that he had to speak quietly so Noah didn’t get spooked and run away.
Noah swallowed loudly enough that Luke could hear him and slowly shook his head. “I don’t know. Dad showed up and somehow made it past the guard Margo had set up since he escaped. He got into the house and got into it with Ameera, something how she wasn’t holding up her end of the deal.” He looked up at Luke then, blue eyes brimming with unshed tears. “They were in on it together, Luke. My dad and Ameera.” He shuddered before continuing. “I was supposed to get her pregnant. In dad’s warped mind, he figured that would make me feel obligated to stay with her, that I wouldn’t go back to you once she had her green card.”
Luke waited for Noah to continue at his own pace, though he really wanted to shake Noah’s shoulders, make him hurry, tell the story faster. He didn’t, knew it was a bad idea, but the urge was still there. Instead, he settled for resting one hand on Noah’s shoulder and couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief when Noah leaned a little into his touch.
“Only I didn’t get her pregnant, which to my dad meant that Ameera wasn’t doing her ‘job,’” he continued bitterly.
“So he decided to break out and come down here? Why?” Luke asked quietly, already half guessing the answer and worrying he might be right. Noah’s voice had slid into a monotonous whisper, as though he were reading a newspaper ad instead of telling Luke something much more important.
“He was going to help us. Thought if he could force us into bed, everything would work itself out.”
He shivered again and Luke slid his arm across Noah’s back, holding him closer, tighter.
“He got a gun from somewhere, I don’t even know where, and when I didn’t move to sleep with Ameera, he pulled it.” He laughed bitterly. “My own father was going to shoot me. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He killed my mom, tried to kill Dusty, tried to kill you. But Ameera got in the way and she died for me. She died for me, Luke! And then dad, because anything was better than having a gay son, shot himself too.”
“Jesus, Noah,” Luke said. That explained everything - the shock, the deer in the headlights look Noah had had since they’d left the cottage, everything. How did you recover from watching your own father kill himself? Luke couldn’t even imagine.
Noah leaned into Luke, rested his head on Luke’s shoulder. “I have no one, now, Luke. No family, he took them all away.”
For the first time since Noah began his explanation, Luke was mad. Furious even. He sat up and held Noah’s chin in his fingers, forcing Noah to look at him. “What? No! Noah, you have a family. Everyone here at the farm - they love you.”
Noah snorted. “And look what I did to reward them. I shoved it back in their face. In your face.” Noah sighed, as though the weight of the whole situation was finally just too much, and his shoulders slumped. “I can’t imagine you’re even talking to me at all. How did you know?”
“Jack called Dad when the call came in. Look, Noah - you can’t help what your dad did.”
“Luke, he didn’t just try to kill someone because of me, he actually did it this time. How can anyone not see that when they look at me?”
No matter how much he wanted to, Luke knew that there was no way to get Noah to understand. Knew the answer would only come to him in time, could only be learned through the actions of everyone around him.
He cupped Noah’s face in his hands and leaned in close, touching their foreheads together. “Because we love you, you big dork.” Luke inhaled deeply before continuing. “Because I love you. I’ve told you before, I’ll tell you again You’re mine, no matter what happens.”
And maybe it was just his imagination or maybe it really happened, but Luke was pretty sure Noah’s shoulders relaxed just a little bit when he said that. Maybe, just maybe, they could fix everything that had happened between them.