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HAPPY LATE NEW YEAR.
im really upset with myself. i dont understand why/how i can sleep the way i do.
last night, i fell asleep at 10:30pm and woke up at like 3am. then i couldnt fall back asleep until after 8am so i didnt wake up until 3pm. my math class starts at 3. even when i try to get sleep, something is still fucked up. i left my phone on the loudest possible setting and set my alarm to go off at noon. i still did not wake up.
i think im going to start taking sleeping pills. its getting ridiculous. i think ive missed like 4 math quizzes b/c of my sleep pattern. i CANNOT retake math. i will be so absolutely disappointed.
i really dislike school. it makes me sad. im terrible at getting the work done. im not good at showing up on time.
in other news: im currently dating a young fella named kevin. hes a really great person. i love spending time with him, and its almost absurd how close we've gotten in such a short amount of time. he is leaving in 17 days to study abroad in australia, which is waaaayyy past the 45 min mark. it will be a badass experience & i want him to go and have fun, but at the same time, i want him here. we've discussed it, and we're just going to split and i guess see what happens when he gets back. everyone thinks we're crazy for even bothering to start a relationship before he leaves. he'll be gone until the end of june. he'll come back, and then leave again to go back to hanover in august. its really just a bad situation for the both of us. its weird though, because normally i would be the one thinking realistically about the situation and saying, theres no point. but i cant help it. he makes me really happy.
im going to cry my eyes out when he leaves.
my dads coming back from texas in a few days. i still havent gotten the chance to bowl with him. i think when he comes back, my sister is going to tell my parents she is pregnant. she just found out a couple weeks ago. im going to be an aunt. more crazy is the fact that my brother is going to be an uncle. apparently it happened on christmas with a guy named tyler. the guy is happy and has told his mom about it already. she says hes a really good guy, so i hope hes nothing like her exes.
ashley and i are going to texas in march. im pretty excited about it. i dont know what my parents are going to do living in texas with a grandkid up here though. i've decided im going to be the coolest aunt ever. im buying that thing play-doh and etch-a-sketch and light bright. also, its going to be smart. b/c im going to teach it things. im pumped. my sister thought i'd yell at her and tell her she sucks at life. but i think this might help her become a more mature adult. which is good.
i need to get ready for work. i feel like crap!
im really upset with myself. i dont understand why/how i can sleep the way i do.
last night, i fell asleep at 10:30pm and woke up at like 3am. then i couldnt fall back asleep until after 8am so i didnt wake up until 3pm. my math class starts at 3. even when i try to get sleep, something is still fucked up. i left my phone on the loudest possible setting and set my alarm to go off at noon. i still did not wake up.
i think im going to start taking sleeping pills. its getting ridiculous. i think ive missed like 4 math quizzes b/c of my sleep pattern. i CANNOT retake math. i will be so absolutely disappointed.
i really dislike school. it makes me sad. im terrible at getting the work done. im not good at showing up on time.
in other news: im currently dating a young fella named kevin. hes a really great person. i love spending time with him, and its almost absurd how close we've gotten in such a short amount of time. he is leaving in 17 days to study abroad in australia, which is waaaayyy past the 45 min mark. it will be a badass experience & i want him to go and have fun, but at the same time, i want him here. we've discussed it, and we're just going to split and i guess see what happens when he gets back. everyone thinks we're crazy for even bothering to start a relationship before he leaves. he'll be gone until the end of june. he'll come back, and then leave again to go back to hanover in august. its really just a bad situation for the both of us. its weird though, because normally i would be the one thinking realistically about the situation and saying, theres no point. but i cant help it. he makes me really happy.
im going to cry my eyes out when he leaves.
my dads coming back from texas in a few days. i still havent gotten the chance to bowl with him. i think when he comes back, my sister is going to tell my parents she is pregnant. she just found out a couple weeks ago. im going to be an aunt. more crazy is the fact that my brother is going to be an uncle. apparently it happened on christmas with a guy named tyler. the guy is happy and has told his mom about it already. she says hes a really good guy, so i hope hes nothing like her exes.
ashley and i are going to texas in march. im pretty excited about it. i dont know what my parents are going to do living in texas with a grandkid up here though. i've decided im going to be the coolest aunt ever. im buying that thing play-doh and etch-a-sketch and light bright. also, its going to be smart. b/c im going to teach it things. im pumped. my sister thought i'd yell at her and tell her she sucks at life. but i think this might help her become a more mature adult. which is good.
i need to get ready for work. i feel like crap!