Life is rosy and it depends on how you look at it
Sometimes there are things and events you watch on television that you think would never happen to you, or people you know. Too horrific to imagine, too remote and distant: pictures on television, lives of people alien to you.
But the doctors said I'm developing an illness that could go either way, either it goes, or it stays and continues. And I hope it would be better soon. I think. I wallow in self-pity, I guess. Even when I've been reminded again and again that I've been lucky enough to survive my first twenty odd years relatively illness free. And there is an outside chance that I might recover.
Under the sun, I always feel lethargic. At night, the tics came. Doctors told me that I shouldn't worry about tics, they are "extremely common", they said. It's the body's way of making sure that it's not dying. But there's always the "why now" question. There must be something wrong for it to ask such questions. And the tics became worse, ending in cramps not unlike the ones you get whilst swimming or doing some early morning stretching in bed.
And now, it can't stop contracting. The doctors said that I'm gradually developing something called dystonia. I spent my time scourging the Net and the libraries, and it steadily got worse. And I don't know what to do. But life continues, I guess, and I find myself enjoying life more, despite the constant twitch and cramp. It's weird how it took things that are basically unwanted for us to appreciate what we had before.
Anyway. Indulge me...
I've gotten tired of asking the "why me" questions, "why this" or "why that or the other", and finally took heed of my mother's wise words. And mothers are always very, very wise. I began to ask less and enjoy what was and is and what promises of the future told. My mother told me about the doctors and their brilliant mind, about the young professors not lacking in idealism and vigour, about life, love, and family. And indeed, the whole family (even those distant aunts that I seldom see) came together, and somehow found a reason to sit around the dinner table more. From the dawning of a new day to another cycle of the moon. It was wonderful. And somehow...
Not only that, I also found out that Renee is a fanfic nut! Yay! Hoorah! It's wonderful, because she very graciously offered to transcribe the tapes! Hoorah! Who'd thunk it, eh? Renee!
I haven't walked outside the front door of my house for two months now. At least, not for anything other than a visit to the doctors. It's weird this way, but even then, there's so much things to do. I have my own patch in the garden where I tend the tomatoes and stuff like that. It's rainy season here, but it's warm enough as it is. And being close to my parents helped, and the sun is wonderful most of the times. I heard London is very cold these days, and well... I'm glad that I'm nowhere near there at the moment.
How are you all, by the way?
But the doctors said I'm developing an illness that could go either way, either it goes, or it stays and continues. And I hope it would be better soon. I think. I wallow in self-pity, I guess. Even when I've been reminded again and again that I've been lucky enough to survive my first twenty odd years relatively illness free. And there is an outside chance that I might recover.
Under the sun, I always feel lethargic. At night, the tics came. Doctors told me that I shouldn't worry about tics, they are "extremely common", they said. It's the body's way of making sure that it's not dying. But there's always the "why now" question. There must be something wrong for it to ask such questions. And the tics became worse, ending in cramps not unlike the ones you get whilst swimming or doing some early morning stretching in bed.
And now, it can't stop contracting. The doctors said that I'm gradually developing something called dystonia. I spent my time scourging the Net and the libraries, and it steadily got worse. And I don't know what to do. But life continues, I guess, and I find myself enjoying life more, despite the constant twitch and cramp. It's weird how it took things that are basically unwanted for us to appreciate what we had before.
Anyway. Indulge me...
I've gotten tired of asking the "why me" questions, "why this" or "why that or the other", and finally took heed of my mother's wise words. And mothers are always very, very wise. I began to ask less and enjoy what was and is and what promises of the future told. My mother told me about the doctors and their brilliant mind, about the young professors not lacking in idealism and vigour, about life, love, and family. And indeed, the whole family (even those distant aunts that I seldom see) came together, and somehow found a reason to sit around the dinner table more. From the dawning of a new day to another cycle of the moon. It was wonderful. And somehow...
Not only that, I also found out that Renee is a fanfic nut! Yay! Hoorah! It's wonderful, because she very graciously offered to transcribe the tapes! Hoorah! Who'd thunk it, eh? Renee!
I haven't walked outside the front door of my house for two months now. At least, not for anything other than a visit to the doctors. It's weird this way, but even then, there's so much things to do. I have my own patch in the garden where I tend the tomatoes and stuff like that. It's rainy season here, but it's warm enough as it is. And being close to my parents helped, and the sun is wonderful most of the times. I heard London is very cold these days, and well... I'm glad that I'm nowhere near there at the moment.
How are you all, by the way?