The signal is subtle
i've always tried to be someone of some principle, some standard i always tell myself to keep to, and i'm sure i've deviated from it a number of times in my life, but i atleast saw every situation through and never ran from them, and paid the price for whatever it was, be it money, happiness, or doing something I didn't want to do, because it was the right thing to do. then to be put in a situation, with every intention of working to make it succeed, but not gettin much in return, is crushing. crushing to who i think i am as a person, and to my heart.
i thought my life was going where I wanted it too, i had pretty much everything i wanted (see prior post in march) and its all come crashing down on my shoulders. i'll bitch and complain about it, because thats what i do, but i'll make it through. the pain is already unbearable, and my heart feels like its swollen to the point it'll explode like a cannon ball being shot from a cannon. let me tell you.. its not a wonderful feeling to have and its consuming everything, the longer i think about it. if only i could stop thinking. maybe that would cure everything.. just become brain-dead to feelings and wants and wishes. i need to be locked in my room and wallow in my own pity for a month, play video games and eat taco bell and hot dog heaven, since these are the only things that make me happy anymore. my heaven was here.. but apparently the cable car came to my stop and said its not your time yet. i'll be back.....................
"We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden 'Cause you will be somebody's girl And you will keep each other warm But tonight I am feeling cold"
i thought my life was going where I wanted it too, i had pretty much everything i wanted (see prior post in march) and its all come crashing down on my shoulders. i'll bitch and complain about it, because thats what i do, but i'll make it through. the pain is already unbearable, and my heart feels like its swollen to the point it'll explode like a cannon ball being shot from a cannon. let me tell you.. its not a wonderful feeling to have and its consuming everything, the longer i think about it. if only i could stop thinking. maybe that would cure everything.. just become brain-dead to feelings and wants and wishes. i need to be locked in my room and wallow in my own pity for a month, play video games and eat taco bell and hot dog heaven, since these are the only things that make me happy anymore. my heaven was here.. but apparently the cable car came to my stop and said its not your time yet. i'll be back.....................
"We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden 'Cause you will be somebody's girl And you will keep each other warm But tonight I am feeling cold"