(no subject)
So we were in the Rivermill last night; and this guy had a seizure, or an overdose, or a heart attack, or something; and he died. Of course, everyone became very somber for awhile. Which is fine. Death is pretty intense, and being in proximity to it is sobering. But then people over do it. This always happens. People start acting more upset than it really seems emotionally honest for them to be. Maybe I'm being really cynical, and some people are just really emotional, but I just can't buy it all the time. If you were barely acquainted with a guy, don't act like this is some tragedy in your life.
Anyway, the point is that I'm a total jackass, because one of the bartenders was talking about it as he cleaned up our table and said, "yeah, I've known him for two years, I gave him cpr before he died." to which I automatically responded, "well, at least you've got that."
That statement doesn't even make sense! I don't think I was trying to be mean. I'm too much of a wuss to be mean to people's faces anyway. I think I thought it was an ok thing to say.
But on the other hand, I didn't really believe him. Not about the cpr, that would be silly. I didn't believe that it really bothered him that much, because I know this guy, and he dramatizes everything that happens in his life. So part of me might have been wanting to tell him to shut up, and maybe that's why I said that. I'd feel really bad if he was actually good friends with the guy.
But this is why I think you should save your intense grief for when it really matters, because every time you exaggerate your feelings, you're giving people another reason to not care how you feel, because they don't believe you.
Anyway, the point is that I'm a total jackass, because one of the bartenders was talking about it as he cleaned up our table and said, "yeah, I've known him for two years, I gave him cpr before he died." to which I automatically responded, "well, at least you've got that."
That statement doesn't even make sense! I don't think I was trying to be mean. I'm too much of a wuss to be mean to people's faces anyway. I think I thought it was an ok thing to say.
But on the other hand, I didn't really believe him. Not about the cpr, that would be silly. I didn't believe that it really bothered him that much, because I know this guy, and he dramatizes everything that happens in his life. So part of me might have been wanting to tell him to shut up, and maybe that's why I said that. I'd feel really bad if he was actually good friends with the guy.
But this is why I think you should save your intense grief for when it really matters, because every time you exaggerate your feelings, you're giving people another reason to not care how you feel, because they don't believe you.