I can see right through her chest And see her heart ain't got no fuckin beats left
I do everything for my friends. The friends I have know that. But I think it's about time I did something for myself. So I'm moving on. I can't keep revolving everything I do around another person who doesn't even want to be with me and who doesn't love me the way I love him. I'm not angry at him. I have no regrets. I just feel like moving on, starting over so I can hopefully find someone who wants to be with me and who is going to love me. I'm sure I'll go through random people who aren't going to make me happy, who aren't going to love me, but maybe.
I guess we just ended up getting comfortable with one another. We didn't talk about being together again. I offered to help him out by letting him move in so I could help him with certain aspects of his life and when he declined, because it wasn't a good enough reason to live with me, I knew that it was time for me to stop playing the fool. I'm not trying to be greedy. I just want to get past this and find some happiness possibly with someone else.
I don't need someone in my life to make me happy. I just want to share my life with someone and make them happy. I like to make other people happy. Since I can't make him happy I think it would just be best if we stopped all signs of being together. I may be crying while I type this, but I hope one day the tears will stop. It's been almost 3 years so it's hard, but I'd rather stop it now then make it go longer and all this be in vain.
I wish I could have made him happy. I would have loved to share the rest of my life with him, but like I said...it's time for me to do something for me.
So he's aware of all of this. I hope he's not angry. I hope someone makes him happy, but I won't be around for that. I can't and I won't do that to myself. So our friendship could end at any random heartbeat. I hope he makes the right choice in that situation. I don't want to lose him, but I refuse to be around him while he's with another. I'm doing something for me...and that is not something I will do to myself.
I'm feeling down, touch me...I'm feeling down touch me...I'm feeling down touch me...