So tired
Woke up today super tired. I dont know why... Peter finally came home last night after staying away almost a week. R was upset- guess he thought we were done but I dont know why. I never said we were. Every couple has issues and we definitely have ours.
I cant wait till tomorrow when I get to spend the day with the family I love very much but have neglected. Dont know why really. Should be interesting considering it will be my family, Franck, and Peter. Peter and Franck are not the problem... its gonna be my nosey family lol.
Oh well... Just wrote this to remind me of where I am at this point in my life. Not exactly were I thought I would be. Not exactly were I want to be. But definitely working towards were I have wanted to be. Financially. Emotionally only God knows where the hell I end.
Lastly, I recently realized I dont miss Franck as much as I did before. We still talk almost every day.. And I know I still love him. But after everything that has happened and the hurt we have caused each other, I dont think we can get back together. I realize now the difference between loving and being in love.
And whats worse is that not being in love makes me sad. I actually hurt from the realization that the man of my dreams, the love of my life, no longer hold the same place in my heart he once did. The way i loved him is not a common kind of love and i was lucky to live in that world for 9 years.
I only hope that I will love that way once again.
I cant wait till tomorrow when I get to spend the day with the family I love very much but have neglected. Dont know why really. Should be interesting considering it will be my family, Franck, and Peter. Peter and Franck are not the problem... its gonna be my nosey family lol.
Oh well... Just wrote this to remind me of where I am at this point in my life. Not exactly were I thought I would be. Not exactly were I want to be. But definitely working towards were I have wanted to be. Financially. Emotionally only God knows where the hell I end.
Lastly, I recently realized I dont miss Franck as much as I did before. We still talk almost every day.. And I know I still love him. But after everything that has happened and the hurt we have caused each other, I dont think we can get back together. I realize now the difference between loving and being in love.
And whats worse is that not being in love makes me sad. I actually hurt from the realization that the man of my dreams, the love of my life, no longer hold the same place in my heart he once did. The way i loved him is not a common kind of love and i was lucky to live in that world for 9 years.
I only hope that I will love that way once again.