(no subject)
Conflicted. The word that best describes my constant emotional state.
Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't I just have ONE incredibly challenging decision/situation thrown on my lap at a time? I might then be able to take the time to address things in a manner which would get stuff sorted out in my head. Instead, I live my life in a perpetual state of confusion.
I'm never going to find someone who will accept me for how I am, all of my odd impulses included. I know that if I were outside of myself, I wouldn't accept myself. I don't know how I can expect others to. I know that I cause undue pain to people who are very close to me. I don't want to do that.
I don't know what to do about it all, how to fix things, what road to wander down.
Boom Boom, this sucks.
Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't I just have ONE incredibly challenging decision/situation thrown on my lap at a time? I might then be able to take the time to address things in a manner which would get stuff sorted out in my head. Instead, I live my life in a perpetual state of confusion.
I'm never going to find someone who will accept me for how I am, all of my odd impulses included. I know that if I were outside of myself, I wouldn't accept myself. I don't know how I can expect others to. I know that I cause undue pain to people who are very close to me. I don't want to do that.
I don't know what to do about it all, how to fix things, what road to wander down.
Boom Boom, this sucks.