Decisions Made
Title: Decisions Made
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Rating: PG
Summary: Gwen finally comes to a decision about her life. Unfortunately, she’s doomed to disappointment.
It was well after normal business hours, if there was such a thing at the Hub, when Gwen returned. The lights were low, on a power saving setting. It gave the Hub an eerie feel that made Gwen want to shudder. She didn’t, and if she did, she blamed it on the chill.
The Hub was always chilly, like a drafty old castle she sometimes mused, with Jack as it’s king- her Fisher King. At night though, it could be absolutely frigid. She never came to work without a coat, or at least a sweater. On a good day she could leave both at her desk, as they sometimes made her look frumpy.
Overhead, Myfanwy screeched. That did make Gwen jump. She thought Jack let the Pteranodon out at night to go stretch its wings when nobody could see her. Gwen thought it was dangerous to let a hungry dinosaur fly about Cardiff, no matter how well trained she was, but Jack wouldn’t see reason. It would serve him right if Myfanwy carried off some poor child.
As she made her way around the tower on her way to Jack’s office she thought about what she was going to say. She really should have put more thought into this, so she wouldn’t be a stuttering wreck when she finally, after much debate, talked to Jack.
There wasn’t much time left. Her wedding was in two weeks, this conversation had to happen now. She drew a steadying breath and strode into his office…only to find it empty. She stared blankly at his empty chair for a moment, processing that after all the self talks, all the working up the nerve to come here and have this conversation, was for nothing.
She huffed and sat down heavily in a spare chair, her arms crossed. She wasn’t sulking she told herself. Sulking was childish. Besides, she probably shouldn’t have taken Jack’s ‘I never sleep’ claim seriously. He had a bedroom below his office for something other than picking up random shags. He could hardly bring someone he picked up on the pull back to the Hub.
Gwen glanced at the manhole that led to Jack’s bedroom. The hatch was shut and locked. Jack was probably down there now, sleeping. Or maybe not sleeping. Ianto did stay the night sometimes, if Owen’s often loudly voiced suspicions and Jack’s leering responses were anything to go by.
Coming to Jack’s office, long after everyone was gone home for the night was one thing. But going the extra step-or three-of sneaking into his bedroom in the middle of the night was too much, even for her.
Gwen sighed. Why was she doing this? She loved Rhys. He was a good man and he deserved better than this, better than her. He treated her with love and respect, far better than any man she’d known before. And how did she repay him? With this. That was why she was here tonight. She had to be sure she could be true to Rhys. Because she loved Jack too.
Jack was the hero she’d always dreamed of as a girl. The heroic Lancelot of Arthurian legend, so much in need of a Guinevere. And what she wouldn’t give to be his Guinevere. After all, what was a knight without his lady love?
Jack needed someone. He was so alone. Sure, Ianto kept him company on some of the darker nights, but that wasn’t too serious from what she could see. Ianto still called Jack ‘sir’ for heaven’s sake.
She’d wait. Gwen decided she would sit here until dawn if need be. She wasn’t leaving until she spoke to Jack. She needed to know if there was a chance that anything could develop between her and Jack.
Time passed, and Gwen began idly tapping her foot on the floor. It was a nervous tic she’d developed while studying for finals one year and had never managed to drop. Rhys found it endearing. His parents found it annoying and unladylike… well Brenda did. Rhys’s father kept his mouth shut generally and let his wife do the talking. Since Jack was a time traveling immortal, he didn’t have parents to critique her every flaw. A point in his favor, Gwen thought wryly.
She closed her eyes and leaned her head back. The sounds of the Hub at night could be soothing, she noted. Myfanwy was making a cooing noise, so much gentler than her normal shrieks and cries. There was a hum from Tosh’s computers, running constantly, even while Tosh was at home asleep in her bed. Or Owen’s, if the medic ever stopped being such an idiot and noticed she would have him in an instant.
She wasn’t even aware she’d drifted off until the squeak of the hatch to Jack’s bedroom opening brought her out of her doze.
“Gwen?”
She blinked her eyes in an effort to clear the blurriness from her vision. When she succeeded, she found that Jack was standing half out of the hole that led to his personal quarters, staring at her in confusion. And he was shirtless.
“Gwen, what are you doing here so late?” Jack asked with concern.
Gwen blushed. “I needed to talk to you.”
“At two a.m.?” Jack asked.
When he put it like that… Wait, it was that late? How long had she slept?
“Sorry, I must have fallen asleep waiting for you,” Gwen said, standing up and straightening her clothes.
“I was busy,” Jack replied. “Couldn’t this have waited until morning?”
It probably could have but it hadn’t felt like it when she left her flat for the night. She wanted her answer now. She’d waited long enough. “No,” she lied.
“Is something wrong?” Jack’s expression morphed into one of concern. “Is Rhys okay?”
Rhys… Why did he have to remind her of him right now? She was hoping this could be their moment. Their one perfect shining moment, come whatever, and he mentioned Rhys in the middle of it.
“Rhys’s fine. I just need to talk to you about something.”
“About?” Jack asked.
Gwen took a breath. This was it. This was their moment.
“I know for awhile things have been strained here at the Hub, but-” Gwen stuttered to a stop. She was going to be a wreck with this. “The thing is Jack, I’m getting married soon and-well… I need to be sure that I’m making the right choice.”
“The right choice? Gwen, if this is you having pre-wedding jitters you should really talk to Rhys about it,” Jack said. “You two love each other. He’ll be able to help you.”
“This isn’t me getting cold feet, Jack. It’s something else entirely.” Gwen paused, searching for words. “I love Rhys, I do, but there’s someone else.”
Jack raised an eyebrow. “Gwen, playing around is all well in good when your partner’s okay with it but Rhys doesn’t strike me as the open relationship type.”
“Not like that,” Gwen huffed, insulted. “There’s nothing going on…but there could be, and I don’t want to give that up.”
“Gwen, if you’re going to leave Rhys you might want to consider doing it before you get to the altar,” Jack said in typical Jack fashion.
Gwen flinched. As though she’d be so cruel as to humiliate Rhys in that way. “I wouldn’t do something like that. I just need to know if I stand a chance with this man before I do anything…permanent.”
“Gwen, maybe you should try talking to this guy instead of me.”
“I am,” said Gwen quietly.
Jack froze.
“Jack, I love you.”
Jack stared.
“Jack?”
Jack sat down… on the floor. On second thought, it seemed to Gwen as though his legs merely gave out on him.
“Jack, say something.”
“Uhh…what?”
“Anything.”
“I love Ianto.”
“…”
“Not the right answer?”
“Not really.”
***
“Is she gone?” Ianto murmured sleepily. He hadn’t even bothered sitting up, still in a partial doze. Jack thought he looked sexily disheveled, with his hair sleep tousled and his eye half lidded.
“Yes,” Jack answered, crawling back under the covers so he could snuggle close to his lover.
“What did she want?”
“To talk.”
“About?”
“Her and I’s non-existent love affair,” Jack sighed. Had he really given her the idea that there was anything more to his feelings for her than friendship?
“Oh. That’s nice,” Ianto yawned.
Jack chuckled. Ianto was unbelievably charming when he was more asleep than awake. Jack could tell him anything and get the same response. Not that he wouldn’t tell Ianto again in the morning what Gwen had come here for tonight. They didn’t keep secrets, at least not ones that directly pertained to their relationship. There were some things he would never tell Ianto, but those were the things he wouldn’t even tell the Doctor.
“My Merlin,” Jack murmured.
“No pet names, Jack,” Ianto said. “I hate pet names.”
“Ok,” Jack agreed. “My Ianto.”
Ianto nuzzled Jack’s throat. “My Jack.”
“Yes. Your Jack.”
AN: ConCrit happily accepted.