Sunday breakfast
Mr. Viper and I were in Denny’s on Sunday, in search of breakfast, and we ordered and got our coffee and were chilling out while waiting for our food. Our waitress gives the check to the people in the next booth and says “Merry Christmas.”
“Thank you for saying that!” gushes the customer. “You know, Walmart had to go back to saying “Merry Christmas because they were losing customers!”
“I always say that - I don’t care what’s PC,” says our waitress.
Someone else chimes in. “This is a Christian country! If they don’t like it, they can shut up or leave!”
And the conversation just kept getting uglier.
Jewish Mr. Viper looks at Pagan me, and I say “Let’s leave,” and we do.
Note to Denny’s Christians:
My family has been here for over 100 years, and in that time they have been paying taxes, doing volunteer civic work and voting. Mr. Viper’s family, too. So, YOU shut the fuck up. You can take your Christian fucking country and shove it up your Christian fucking ass because I am tired and I mean seriously fucking tired of being treated like a second-class citizen and told to shut up or leave because I don’t happen to share the majority religion of the country I happened to be fucking born into.
How did the Christian Fucking Right turn a friendly greeting into some kind of divisive political litmus test? How? I never minded if somebody said “Merry Christmas” to me. It’s nice. It’s a greeting. I’ve never met anybody who was offended by it - it’s just that some of us, those of us that look outside our little bubbles and gaze at the world as a whole, like to be a little more inclusive. So what? That offends you? The idea that the entire country, no matter if it’s Christian or Jewish or Pagan or Christmas or Hannuka or the Solstice or Kwanzaa, celebrates something at the same time is an offense and an insult?
This “threatens” Christianity? I hear that a lot, that Christianity is about to go down due to a conspiracy including Democrats, Jews, welfare mothers and aliens. Strong faith you got there, buddy, if despite the fact that Christianity has more cable channels than home shopping, the phrase “Happy Holidays” and a welfare check is going to undermine Jesus.
And though I’m not Christian, I’ve read the Bible straight through six times, in several different formats (Catholic, King James, etc). What I got out of it was that Jesus was a serious fucking rebel. He said that all the religious laws, all the crazy legal incrustations that accrued over the centuries due to socio-economic survival of a small tribe of people were no longer needed. Forget about stoning the gays and adulterers. You don’t have to buy a really expensive goat to sacrifice every week and count your steps on the Sabbat. Eat some shellfish! But here’s the catch - you have to love each other, especially the most unlovable, stubborn, rude, impossible people, with all the energy and commitment you have inside you. And that, my friends, is a lot tougher to do than a righteous stoning.
So, what I’m saying here is that Jesus would be horrified and ashamed and probably ready to kick your ass over what “Christianity” has become in America.
Another note:
You know what just killed me about this whole thing? All of you assumed because we were white, that we were Christian. All of you assumed you could go on your nasty rant because we weren’t dark-skinned and wearing turbans. Nice.
“Thank you for saying that!” gushes the customer. “You know, Walmart had to go back to saying “Merry Christmas because they were losing customers!”
“I always say that - I don’t care what’s PC,” says our waitress.
Someone else chimes in. “This is a Christian country! If they don’t like it, they can shut up or leave!”
And the conversation just kept getting uglier.
Jewish Mr. Viper looks at Pagan me, and I say “Let’s leave,” and we do.
Note to Denny’s Christians:
My family has been here for over 100 years, and in that time they have been paying taxes, doing volunteer civic work and voting. Mr. Viper’s family, too. So, YOU shut the fuck up. You can take your Christian fucking country and shove it up your Christian fucking ass because I am tired and I mean seriously fucking tired of being treated like a second-class citizen and told to shut up or leave because I don’t happen to share the majority religion of the country I happened to be fucking born into.
How did the Christian Fucking Right turn a friendly greeting into some kind of divisive political litmus test? How? I never minded if somebody said “Merry Christmas” to me. It’s nice. It’s a greeting. I’ve never met anybody who was offended by it - it’s just that some of us, those of us that look outside our little bubbles and gaze at the world as a whole, like to be a little more inclusive. So what? That offends you? The idea that the entire country, no matter if it’s Christian or Jewish or Pagan or Christmas or Hannuka or the Solstice or Kwanzaa, celebrates something at the same time is an offense and an insult?
This “threatens” Christianity? I hear that a lot, that Christianity is about to go down due to a conspiracy including Democrats, Jews, welfare mothers and aliens. Strong faith you got there, buddy, if despite the fact that Christianity has more cable channels than home shopping, the phrase “Happy Holidays” and a welfare check is going to undermine Jesus.
And though I’m not Christian, I’ve read the Bible straight through six times, in several different formats (Catholic, King James, etc). What I got out of it was that Jesus was a serious fucking rebel. He said that all the religious laws, all the crazy legal incrustations that accrued over the centuries due to socio-economic survival of a small tribe of people were no longer needed. Forget about stoning the gays and adulterers. You don’t have to buy a really expensive goat to sacrifice every week and count your steps on the Sabbat. Eat some shellfish! But here’s the catch - you have to love each other, especially the most unlovable, stubborn, rude, impossible people, with all the energy and commitment you have inside you. And that, my friends, is a lot tougher to do than a righteous stoning.
So, what I’m saying here is that Jesus would be horrified and ashamed and probably ready to kick your ass over what “Christianity” has become in America.
Another note:
You know what just killed me about this whole thing? All of you assumed because we were white, that we were Christian. All of you assumed you could go on your nasty rant because we weren’t dark-skinned and wearing turbans. Nice.