Assholes
Sometimes I really question whether my friends are actually my friends. I asked Sam yesterday if I could use the car to run a brief errand this afternoon to turn my application in at Hustler. He said that would be fine, so I dropped everything I was doing at six o'clock, got in the shower and got myself looking nice, and walked all the way to the garage to head downtown. But, when I got there I found the car gone; so I called Sam. Turns out he had decided to pick up Jaime and Sara and go out drinking. So, not only did I not get to go to Hustler, but I didn't get invited to hang out with them. Its so fucking typical of them. They do all kinds of shit and never invite me to hang out with them. The only times I see them are when I plan everything and do all the inviting. Even then, it seems like an inconvenience to them to have to go out with me. Sam always gives me this bullshit about how busy he is, but he goes out all the time so I'm not buying it. I'm just sick of being an afterthought. You know, I spent two and a half years with Sam, we were so into each other and so busy that we lost a lot of our friends from freshman year simply because we never saw them. So now I'm stuck with Sara and Jaime as my only real friends. Yet I am increasingly ignored by them and its really upsetting.
Sure, Sam talks to me every once and a while, and he lets me borrow his car all the time. So, when I bring this up he's just going to dangle that in my face like it makes everything better. A friendship isn't based on sharing a vehicle. So what the fuck ever. Now that he's 21 I'm the only one left who isn't. Now they all go out to bars that are 21 and up - a perfect excuse not to have to invite me along.
Fuck this noise, I want to getting fucking hammered and pass out. Alex is probably going to be here in a little bit, so maybe I'll just get stoned out of my mind and hope I feel better. Sure, substances aren't the answer to my problems but that doesn't mean I can't try. You know, I've been looking all over for an apartment and its just a constant reminder that I'm not close enough friends with anyone to find a roommate. How fucking sad is that.
I'm just way too damn stressed out right now. I have a lot of school work to worry about, I'm having difficulties getting registered for all my courses for next semester, I'm desperately searching for a job, and trying to hunt down an apartment that I can afford. Honestly I just feel like crying right now. I want this semester to be over with so that I can waste away an entire summer working at the mall and bumming around my apartment. I just wish I could catch a fucking break every once and awhile.
Till later then.
~peace
Sure, Sam talks to me every once and a while, and he lets me borrow his car all the time. So, when I bring this up he's just going to dangle that in my face like it makes everything better. A friendship isn't based on sharing a vehicle. So what the fuck ever. Now that he's 21 I'm the only one left who isn't. Now they all go out to bars that are 21 and up - a perfect excuse not to have to invite me along.
Fuck this noise, I want to getting fucking hammered and pass out. Alex is probably going to be here in a little bit, so maybe I'll just get stoned out of my mind and hope I feel better. Sure, substances aren't the answer to my problems but that doesn't mean I can't try. You know, I've been looking all over for an apartment and its just a constant reminder that I'm not close enough friends with anyone to find a roommate. How fucking sad is that.
I'm just way too damn stressed out right now. I have a lot of school work to worry about, I'm having difficulties getting registered for all my courses for next semester, I'm desperately searching for a job, and trying to hunt down an apartment that I can afford. Honestly I just feel like crying right now. I want this semester to be over with so that I can waste away an entire summer working at the mall and bumming around my apartment. I just wish I could catch a fucking break every once and awhile.
Till later then.
~peace