really quickly
I was picked up from school today!!!!
Did not attend school yesterday.
Neither did Grace, is it telepathy...? ;)
But anyways, I'm going to try to stay off the computer for a while, maybe a little on Saturday but for the most, I won't be on. SAT's are in 11 days-- I haven't touched the math section yet!!!!!!!!! So I'll only be on for FC stuff, bye everyone!!!!!!
But fucking shit man...I wish I could just take a deep breath and jump off a huge huge tall cliff while the sun is how it looks at 4 in the afternoon, hit the water hard and just breathe it all in and then die, but then come back to life and swim far fucking far away. Far far far away from this place, because all that matters here is a fucking 4.5 gpa and 2200 on the SAT's. Where even Davis isn't a good school anymore. Where you have to take the SAT subject tests or you're ghetto and poor and stupid. Where you have to have nice clothes or an obnoxious personality to not be "shy" or "boring". Fuck everyone, I wish I could just drawwww and cook for strangers all day, and watch myself shrink into a small small non- 5'6 1/2" monster, in which my voice doesn't match my body and my face doesn't match my hair and my hair doesn't grow. Fuck time because I find myself rotting on my computer desk looking at pictures of things I'll never have or people I'll never be, the hours passing me by. 2:30 suddenly turns into 5:45, what the fuck even. Fuck everyone I have to impress, fuck letters of recommendation, fuck not getting an allowance and me having to scour the whole of my side of SC for one fucking job. And fuck it, when I get it, the employers turn out to be sleazy chinese cheapskates. The pressure I feel is insane. Every night I go to sleep and have dreams about forgetting to turn in a math assignment or getting a bad grade on an english essay or not being able to finish my SAT's. School is infiltrating my life and consuming my thoughts and I just want to stay at home forever and never leave my bed. I can't even be absent for one day and not have some idiot teacher say I didn't turn a fucking lab assignment in when I did, in fact, and that it was turned in the next day because I was sick at home...
Did not attend school yesterday.
Neither did Grace, is it telepathy...? ;)
But anyways, I'm going to try to stay off the computer for a while, maybe a little on Saturday but for the most, I won't be on. SAT's are in 11 days-- I haven't touched the math section yet!!!!!!!!! So I'll only be on for FC stuff, bye everyone!!!!!!
But fucking shit man...I wish I could just take a deep breath and jump off a huge huge tall cliff while the sun is how it looks at 4 in the afternoon, hit the water hard and just breathe it all in and then die, but then come back to life and swim far fucking far away. Far far far away from this place, because all that matters here is a fucking 4.5 gpa and 2200 on the SAT's. Where even Davis isn't a good school anymore. Where you have to take the SAT subject tests or you're ghetto and poor and stupid. Where you have to have nice clothes or an obnoxious personality to not be "shy" or "boring". Fuck everyone, I wish I could just drawwww and cook for strangers all day, and watch myself shrink into a small small non- 5'6 1/2" monster, in which my voice doesn't match my body and my face doesn't match my hair and my hair doesn't grow. Fuck time because I find myself rotting on my computer desk looking at pictures of things I'll never have or people I'll never be, the hours passing me by. 2:30 suddenly turns into 5:45, what the fuck even. Fuck everyone I have to impress, fuck letters of recommendation, fuck not getting an allowance and me having to scour the whole of my side of SC for one fucking job. And fuck it, when I get it, the employers turn out to be sleazy chinese cheapskates. The pressure I feel is insane. Every night I go to sleep and have dreams about forgetting to turn in a math assignment or getting a bad grade on an english essay or not being able to finish my SAT's. School is infiltrating my life and consuming my thoughts and I just want to stay at home forever and never leave my bed. I can't even be absent for one day and not have some idiot teacher say I didn't turn a fucking lab assignment in when I did, in fact, and that it was turned in the next day because I was sick at home...