Kind of a disappointing win
Ivy and I won against Fremont, 15-3, 15-8. I got my drops back! :D But overall, the school lost. Really disappointing since this means that Alex is gonna make us all do conditioning. I love badminton, but I'm starting to despise the team. I love my girls! And also there are a few exceptions, but for the most part, every practice there is at least one person that pisses me off sooo bad. I hate how JV 2's are trying to advise JV1's how to smash. Shut up and stop being cocky, look at yourself. Even I don't consider myself able to smash. Not to mention you've failed to show up to practice, multiple times? I hate how I have people telling me to worry about myself, and then they tell me to help out the team and stuff. D:
Why am I always so hungryyyyyyy ):
I'm sorry guys. I know I haven't been telling you everything that I should be telling you guys, or rather, that I would usually tell you. I just don't want my situation to be some on-off, typical relationship thing. Lately I've been keeping things inside even though I know it's unhealthy.
Honestly I don't know why I ever smoked. Even though I was never addicted, even though I never had more than a pack a week, I still feel like it affects me right now. It's like I can't stop procrastinating, and reality never hits me. It's like I think I can keep fucking around and not doing anything with my life, when really, right now is the make it or break it time of my life. I never procrastinated this much until I started smoking, and when I started it's like it numbed all my senses of caring and stuff. I got a D on my math test that I took today (thank god it wasn't anything lower), all because I couldn't get my stupid fucking brain to focus.
I wish I looked good in all the clothes I thought were cute. Fuck, it's like I've looked old my whole life so I never got to wear cute clothes, except for 8th grade ahahahahaa. I only look good in contemporary stuff. I don't want to grow upppppp.
Excited to get my permit!!!!!!!