Start of My Spiral Downward
Just came back from walking from her house. it's a far walk but it seemed like a flash when thousands of thoughts and emotions are running through you, my knuckles are swollen and bleeding, but i can't feel anything because i feel so numb inside. so she started fucking someone else after not even two weeks after we broke up. yeah it really shows how much i meant to her, how much respect she had for me. Even after i found that out i still went to her for more pain tonight. each of her kisses felt like knifes and daggers being jammed into my heart. everything felt so fake like if it were to be a bad dream. i wanted to wake up i wanted to scream,i was just sitting there waiting for an answer i wanted to hear, for an exit, for it to end. I had to make sure it was real and i knew it was because of the pain i felt. pain is always the best way to tell whether if it's a dream or not. It didn't really help seeing pictures of her and her ex in her bedroom...IT was FUCKING YEARS of my life which got flushed down the drain, all my teenage years thinking about her, the best years of my life fucking gone, nothing to show for it except for scars. wheres my tribute? did i mean anything? fuck this fuck everything. Victor is now gone, victor is no more. after tonight all hell can't stop me now.