(no subject)
for those of u who dont know what has been goin on xine found pics that i had of other girls in the nudey. some where models the other were people we know who i syumbled across thier pics on the net. im not gonna name names cos that aint fair on them.
she found out and went crazy and threw me out and told me she didnt want to see me again. which i guess is a fair deal for what i had done. and now im in the states on holiday with noone with me to speak to.
i am living in a house with everything the now. big rooms lots of rooms my own bathroom and kitchen nice food i got a lot of money saved im goin out almost everynihgt for dinner and dont need to pay. bug tvs in the rooms a mini gym in the house ... lots of pets... fuck even leapord print carpets in one of rooms .. there is everything... but i cant even enjoy any of it one bit. i feel worse than ive felt in my whole entire life. if this place is heaven for ppl i dont wanna be here because i feel im in deeper than hell. im empty because i fucked up the only thing that mattered to me for waht??? for some pics i had on the comp that meant nothing to me... curisoty killed the cat ,... well it didnt kill it it stomped onit till it weas a bloody mess and left it to rot on its own.
im not trying to say im worst off.. xine must be horrible right now the onw person she really loved has betrayed her.. and trust me i hate myself for it ... ive never felt this bad
i know i have upset alot of ppl and i dont excpect them to be ok with me for a very long time if not forever but im stepping up and bringin it out in the open because i wana be the quote in uote man and be honest and open about it so i can now try and change myself for the better and move in a better person
christine hasnt believed anything i have said after this., i know wshe hasnt... why shaould she .... but i wanna be different and i wish i culd change what has happened but i cannot... all i can do is move forward and and try and better myself and change that... which i intend to do i just wish it didnt come to this.
im sorry all invoved and all that got hurt
im deeply sorry and wont stop hurting for what i have done to you christine. i love you with all my heart and i understand why you feel the way you feel... if there is nethig i could do or can do i will do it
she found out and went crazy and threw me out and told me she didnt want to see me again. which i guess is a fair deal for what i had done. and now im in the states on holiday with noone with me to speak to.
i am living in a house with everything the now. big rooms lots of rooms my own bathroom and kitchen nice food i got a lot of money saved im goin out almost everynihgt for dinner and dont need to pay. bug tvs in the rooms a mini gym in the house ... lots of pets... fuck even leapord print carpets in one of rooms .. there is everything... but i cant even enjoy any of it one bit. i feel worse than ive felt in my whole entire life. if this place is heaven for ppl i dont wanna be here because i feel im in deeper than hell. im empty because i fucked up the only thing that mattered to me for waht??? for some pics i had on the comp that meant nothing to me... curisoty killed the cat ,... well it didnt kill it it stomped onit till it weas a bloody mess and left it to rot on its own.
im not trying to say im worst off.. xine must be horrible right now the onw person she really loved has betrayed her.. and trust me i hate myself for it ... ive never felt this bad
i know i have upset alot of ppl and i dont excpect them to be ok with me for a very long time if not forever but im stepping up and bringin it out in the open because i wana be the quote in uote man and be honest and open about it so i can now try and change myself for the better and move in a better person
christine hasnt believed anything i have said after this., i know wshe hasnt... why shaould she .... but i wanna be different and i wish i culd change what has happened but i cannot... all i can do is move forward and and try and better myself and change that... which i intend to do i just wish it didnt come to this.
im sorry all invoved and all that got hurt
im deeply sorry and wont stop hurting for what i have done to you christine. i love you with all my heart and i understand why you feel the way you feel... if there is nethig i could do or can do i will do it