(no subject)
i will start this lowly rant detailin that it aint cos of a silly arguement.. it aint cos i dont have ne friends and its not cos my life is so dark and dull like a gothic ball...
i will say tho that i have well and truely fallen down. i dont know where it started or when it got to the point were i couldnt come back... imjust lost...
im lost in my own head which is so full of shit and piss i cant see nething clear nemore... and before neone points a finger and goes well ur a stoner bitch or a wastter like some ppl like to seeem to say about me when i aint feelin to good... u all know who u are.. ive been straight for a long time now.. not even alcohol hs been in these veins.. not even nicotene...
i have restarted my chemo and i have moved on a bit with my leg but i am still sittin here lost...
i need help and i know it .. i want help ... i want to be able o focus again
i need my friends most of all right now because thro this all not just the cancer.. it aint the only thing thts wrong/.. but thro everything u think u may know what im goin thro and what i AM goin thro i have became so god damn lonely i cant seem to rerember a time when i wasnt.
i just need some company. when u start chattin to me if u ask how im goin to be dont be surprised or taken abakc when i say im not dion well and the chemo is hard and im havin a shit time... dont let that end the convo we could or could not be havin.. i am ill.. yea.... i am weak yea.. i am goin thro a hell of a lot right now.. maybe alot of it brought on by myself . who knows.. but im goin trho it and turnin away becasue u dont know what to say doesnt help.. it makes me stuck in where i cnt do shit all but feel ashamed that watevr wacky convo we would have before or nice time we could be havin isnt happenin cos im not well..
i got 4 more months of chemo to go thro .. its not the hoome stretch its only half way there.. and i NEED help if i ask too much by askin well.. i havent realy asked nething but if i have sed too much or offended neone.. im sorry and wel maybe u shouldnt even be around me ...
i just dont wanna fall away nemore... i already feel like ive went too far.. and its scary
on a plus note tho my gfs dreads loked fabulous and xbox 360 is the bees knees... i just dont feel good enuff to play it
i will say tho that i have well and truely fallen down. i dont know where it started or when it got to the point were i couldnt come back... imjust lost...
im lost in my own head which is so full of shit and piss i cant see nething clear nemore... and before neone points a finger and goes well ur a stoner bitch or a wastter like some ppl like to seeem to say about me when i aint feelin to good... u all know who u are.. ive been straight for a long time now.. not even alcohol hs been in these veins.. not even nicotene...
i have restarted my chemo and i have moved on a bit with my leg but i am still sittin here lost...
i need help and i know it .. i want help ... i want to be able o focus again
i need my friends most of all right now because thro this all not just the cancer.. it aint the only thing thts wrong/.. but thro everything u think u may know what im goin thro and what i AM goin thro i have became so god damn lonely i cant seem to rerember a time when i wasnt.
i just need some company. when u start chattin to me if u ask how im goin to be dont be surprised or taken abakc when i say im not dion well and the chemo is hard and im havin a shit time... dont let that end the convo we could or could not be havin.. i am ill.. yea.... i am weak yea.. i am goin thro a hell of a lot right now.. maybe alot of it brought on by myself . who knows.. but im goin trho it and turnin away becasue u dont know what to say doesnt help.. it makes me stuck in where i cnt do shit all but feel ashamed that watevr wacky convo we would have before or nice time we could be havin isnt happenin cos im not well..
i got 4 more months of chemo to go thro .. its not the hoome stretch its only half way there.. and i NEED help if i ask too much by askin well.. i havent realy asked nething but if i have sed too much or offended neone.. im sorry and wel maybe u shouldnt even be around me ...
i just dont wanna fall away nemore... i already feel like ive went too far.. and its scary
on a plus note tho my gfs dreads loked fabulous and xbox 360 is the bees knees... i just dont feel good enuff to play it