Exercise advice
People often ask me how I maintain such a svelte physique without lifting weights. That's a good question.
First, instead of going to the gym, I bring the gym home. The Iron Gym pullup bar that is.
I know what you are wondering about and the answer is no. My back is even bigger than his.
Next, I use a revolutionary ab workout routine designed by a really eager guy in a pinstriped spandex onesie back when Billie Mays was still hawking fake Gucci sunglasses on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. From the golden age of infomercials, before tae bo, before pilates, and before Chuck Norris ever met Christie Brinkley, there was:
I've been diligently following this routine several times a week for about ten years and I still have a potbelly. But it only takes eight minutes.
And to keep my heart pumping like an oil derrick, I resort to one last piece of equipment. Technically two pieces, I guess. But they form together like Voltron.
The Brooks GTS Adrenalin 8 running shoe in a size 13 Narrow. Long and lean like the rest of me. Many a morning you can find these golden ponies slashing through the Santa Barbara marine layer like a bolt of lightening rending a swarthy cumulonimbus cloud.
That's the secret. With only the resistance of your own body weight, a bit of dedication, and the naivete to fall for cheaply-advertised gimmicks you too can look like me.
First, instead of going to the gym, I bring the gym home. The Iron Gym pullup bar that is.
I know what you are wondering about and the answer is no. My back is even bigger than his.
Next, I use a revolutionary ab workout routine designed by a really eager guy in a pinstriped spandex onesie back when Billie Mays was still hawking fake Gucci sunglasses on the Atlantic City Boardwalk. From the golden age of infomercials, before tae bo, before pilates, and before Chuck Norris ever met Christie Brinkley, there was:
I've been diligently following this routine several times a week for about ten years and I still have a potbelly. But it only takes eight minutes.
And to keep my heart pumping like an oil derrick, I resort to one last piece of equipment. Technically two pieces, I guess. But they form together like Voltron.
The Brooks GTS Adrenalin 8 running shoe in a size 13 Narrow. Long and lean like the rest of me. Many a morning you can find these golden ponies slashing through the Santa Barbara marine layer like a bolt of lightening rending a swarthy cumulonimbus cloud.
That's the secret. With only the resistance of your own body weight, a bit of dedication, and the naivete to fall for cheaply-advertised gimmicks you too can look like me.