I'm gonna put you under my arm like a discount toaster!
I know I told everybody this story, but whatever.
Scene: me running in my neighborhood. I decide to throw some punches (bad call) to get things going. Inconspicuous guy in an inconspicuous car shouts from the side of the road:
"Hey! Throw out with your shoulder, and twist your arm!"
I look around frantically and almost stop running, and then I see the guy, demonstrating a punch behind his steering wheel. Chuckling.
"Wha?....oh. Uhh.....sorry?" Wait, why am I appologizing? Because I suck at boxing?
Running away now!
.....no more punching for today. Except with Tae-Bo, when Dad wears a sweat-band.
Masturbate
Masturbate!
It’s really really great!
Masturbate!
Look around at the sea of smiles around you.
Masturbate!
Every face a different shade (when they)
Masturbate.
You can even get a friend to maybe help you!
First the feel, then the word, now the thought has occurred!
You’ve been blessed, by the gods, to feel great at all odds!
Whoa-there!
Speed it up, slow it down,
Make it fast, make it last, so profound!
(Such an amusing trait!)
Stroke of fist, twist of hand, thrust of hips, it’s so grand!
On a couch, in a tree, in your bed, next to me!
Excited!
Drink it in, drink it up,
Till you drown in light,
In the sound,
But no one knows that you…
Masturbate!
It’s everybody’s fate to
Masturbate.
Take your fill as the spectacle astounds you.
Masturbate!
Thrashing limbs at heightened pace!
Masturbate!
Listen as all the sounds of bliss surround you.
(Softly)
Masturbate.
Satisfy your hungered state!
Masturbate.
(Crescendo)
Just give in as you’re prob’ly more than bound to…
Masturbate!
It’s free of charge and rate (just to)
Masturbate!
Live it up as the flames of lust dumbfound you.
Person 1: What a night!
Person 2: What a scene!
Famous rapper: What a tremulous dream!
Person 3: It’s the crème de la crème!
Person 4: Watching us, and watching them!
(Lolita: All tribulation in the past!)
Person 2: Let loose
Person 3: All your wooooh’s!
Person 1: And your waaaah’s!
Famous rapper: You can now be at peace!
(Person 4: With Paris Hilton’s face!)
Person 1: No more days
Person 2: That grow old
Person 3: Because you can’t take hold
Famous rapper: Of your groin-felt desire
Person 4: Fingertips set afire!
All: And may the tenseness disappear
Lolita: With great cheer!
Men: What a blessed release!
Famous rapper: I love to masturbate!
Christine:
Think of it!
A time to be free and put your fears aside!
Just think of it!
Raoul:
But I want it secret!
Just how am I to hide?
Christine:
Just wear some baggy jeans.
To hide discrepancies,
And you’ll be flying true and free!
Raoul:
Christine, what am I afraid of?
Christine:
Let’s not go there.
(Raoul: Let’s not go there.)
Understand
(Raoul: I can only hope…)
You’ll “take it in hand” sometime!
(Raoul: I’ll “take it in hand” sometime!)
Useless musical break
Masturbate!
It’s really really great!
Masturbate!
Look around at the sea of smiles around you!
Masturbate!
Every face a different shade (when they)
Masturbate!
You can even get a friend to maybe help you!
Masturbate!
It’s everybody’s fate!
Masturbate!
Take your fill as the spectacle astounds you!
Masturbate!
It’s free of charge and rate!
Masturbate!
Live it up as the flames of lust dumbfound you.
Phantom enters. Gasps ensue.
Phantom:
I’m excited, good monseiurs!
END
Scene: me running in my neighborhood. I decide to throw some punches (bad call) to get things going. Inconspicuous guy in an inconspicuous car shouts from the side of the road:
"Hey! Throw out with your shoulder, and twist your arm!"
I look around frantically and almost stop running, and then I see the guy, demonstrating a punch behind his steering wheel. Chuckling.
"Wha?....oh. Uhh.....sorry?" Wait, why am I appologizing? Because I suck at boxing?
Running away now!
.....no more punching for today. Except with Tae-Bo, when Dad wears a sweat-band.
Masturbate
Masturbate!
It’s really really great!
Masturbate!
Look around at the sea of smiles around you.
Masturbate!
Every face a different shade (when they)
Masturbate.
You can even get a friend to maybe help you!
First the feel, then the word, now the thought has occurred!
You’ve been blessed, by the gods, to feel great at all odds!
Whoa-there!
Speed it up, slow it down,
Make it fast, make it last, so profound!
(Such an amusing trait!)
Stroke of fist, twist of hand, thrust of hips, it’s so grand!
On a couch, in a tree, in your bed, next to me!
Excited!
Drink it in, drink it up,
Till you drown in light,
In the sound,
But no one knows that you…
Masturbate!
It’s everybody’s fate to
Masturbate.
Take your fill as the spectacle astounds you.
Masturbate!
Thrashing limbs at heightened pace!
Masturbate!
Listen as all the sounds of bliss surround you.
(Softly)
Masturbate.
Satisfy your hungered state!
Masturbate.
(Crescendo)
Just give in as you’re prob’ly more than bound to…
Masturbate!
It’s free of charge and rate (just to)
Masturbate!
Live it up as the flames of lust dumbfound you.
Person 1: What a night!
Person 2: What a scene!
Famous rapper: What a tremulous dream!
Person 3: It’s the crème de la crème!
Person 4: Watching us, and watching them!
(Lolita: All tribulation in the past!)
Person 2: Let loose
Person 3: All your wooooh’s!
Person 1: And your waaaah’s!
Famous rapper: You can now be at peace!
(Person 4: With Paris Hilton’s face!)
Person 1: No more days
Person 2: That grow old
Person 3: Because you can’t take hold
Famous rapper: Of your groin-felt desire
Person 4: Fingertips set afire!
All: And may the tenseness disappear
Lolita: With great cheer!
Men: What a blessed release!
Famous rapper: I love to masturbate!
Christine:
Think of it!
A time to be free and put your fears aside!
Just think of it!
Raoul:
But I want it secret!
Just how am I to hide?
Christine:
Just wear some baggy jeans.
To hide discrepancies,
And you’ll be flying true and free!
Raoul:
Christine, what am I afraid of?
Christine:
Let’s not go there.
(Raoul: Let’s not go there.)
Understand
(Raoul: I can only hope…)
You’ll “take it in hand” sometime!
(Raoul: I’ll “take it in hand” sometime!)
Useless musical break
Masturbate!
It’s really really great!
Masturbate!
Look around at the sea of smiles around you!
Masturbate!
Every face a different shade (when they)
Masturbate!
You can even get a friend to maybe help you!
Masturbate!
It’s everybody’s fate!
Masturbate!
Take your fill as the spectacle astounds you!
Masturbate!
It’s free of charge and rate!
Masturbate!
Live it up as the flames of lust dumbfound you.
Phantom enters. Gasps ensue.
Phantom:
I’m excited, good monseiurs!
END