The summer of no return
Well, THAT statement is true enough not only will this be my last summer spent as an unoffical teenager (19) it is also the summer were my sister will become a senior in high school, I'll be able to finish getting my high school diploma, Dad's gonna visit in August and than go back, and I'm getting closer to both Will and Kris.
Its hard to believe that I'm gonna be 20 next year I mean I never really thought that that kind of day would come when finally I'd be an adult and capable to taking care of both myself and my loved ones. I dunno if I have fully reached that level yet but most definitely I've grown, emotionally and physically, *winks* and right now I'm taking care of Mom and Heather while Dad's away in Jakarta. God I miss him. My father is way more than my father to me he's like a sanctuary you know the one place I can be where all the pain in the outside world can't touch me but after Dad's illness, him being cooped up in the house like a zoo animal, his fughts with both Heather & Mom, and tons of other stuff he needed to get away and the job in Jakarta was more than we could've wished for. I still miss him though and sometimes when I pass a father with his little girl on the street I get hit by a sudden wave of emotions and memories of a childhood that I often wish I hadn't leave behind. In fact, once on this bus that goes around my hometown I saw a man wearing a baseball cap and having a little redheaded girl by his side, chatting away happily and skipping about giddy as a butterfly, they got on the bus together and the father put his hand on the girl's shoulder possessively while she cuddled up to him as if daring any stranger friend or foe to just try and take his daughter away from him and automatically be met with a fate crueler than death. You've heard hell hath no fury like a woman scorned right? Well if you ask me hell hath no fury or craving of vengenace like a father when his daughter is scorned by someone. I mean you shoulda seen my dad on my first date boy if looks could kill...
I still trying to get over the fact that Heather is now a senior in high school; my baby sister *sigh* she's finally growing up. She's already looked at colleges, done the new SAT, and went to California to see our college cousins and see what life is like over there but I'll admit when Heather finally goes off to college its going be awfully lonely without her around I mean she's just like Dad in retrospect (God she would KILL me if she knew I said that) she's loud, aggressive, outgoing, impossible to ignore, hot-tempered, and impossible to ignore but aside from that she's sweet, kind, loving, loyal, supportive, and funny if not crude but hey this is D.C. what do you expect? Racist jokes? I think not! To tell the truth, Heather has always been a bit of security blanket for me; you know when one gets upset and wants to feel secure they hold a teddy bear or a baby blanket Heather's like that she's safe and secure I mean whenever I feel sad or depressed she can tell very easily and shoiws up in my room, wraps her arms around me, and says that no matter what she'll protect me. If there's anyone in the entire world I could ever trust to watch my back it would definitely be Heather, just like Dad is the only one I think that can understand me, and how Mom is the only kind of person I can relate to on issues of personal or morale values like religious issues, work, growing up, and styuff like that its weird sometimes how often we feel the same way about this kind of things except for religion Mom hates that.
As for me, getting my high school diploma its not like I've been held back a year or something its just I need to make up a 1/2 credit that is required for me to graduate. God! I hate school requirements its not like I can't do them but there's just so many, coupled with so much pressure, enjoyment levels of negative zero like gym or tech ed, and there's always a limited deadline to complete the stupid courses. But really I have to do is do some voulnteer work, a couple of career training programs, and boom! The nightmare finally ends!
Although only Mom & Heather are going to visit Dad this month Dad's going to visit us here in the states in August just in time for his birthday. I can't wait to see him again! As I've said before I really miss him but its not like I haven't seen him at all because during Spring Break I went to visit him in Jakarta and though I got sick along the way we still had a good time and I enjoyed being with him. Its funny how the moment I stepped out into the airport parking lot Dad appeared, and I ran straight into his arms screaming out his name everybody standing there laughed but i didn't care I was just so happy to see him. Dad also said upon seeing me that he was amaszed at how grown-up I looked and mature too.
Went on a date with Kris yesterday oh man that boy is potively scrumptious! He's sweet, nice, kind, and very cute too. He's a wonderful conversationalist, and the best part it is that even though I talk really fast he can understand me he likes my jokes too which is always a plus. However, I sometimes get the feeling that the Kris I know is only a part of his real personality but hey I'm willing to wait until he believes that he can trust me and show his real self I just wish I could tell if he really likes me or likes me as a frienmd it'd be so much easier to be there for him, or understand him, and to not blow things out of proportion. However, Kris is my friend and I like him and that's all that really matters to me besides there's this one other guy I'm really into named Will and although he's a year younger than me I'm just crazy about him. He's funny, wild, unpredictable, and so completely charming. I mean he's got this kind of thing where he acts like a sophisicated gentleman when he dresses in ludicrious stuff like hawaiian shirts, neon colored flip-flops, and shorts that are either light pink or burgundy.
Things are changing quick that much I can assure you but what I really wish I could assure myself is of whatever happens will be good.
Its hard to believe that I'm gonna be 20 next year I mean I never really thought that that kind of day would come when finally I'd be an adult and capable to taking care of both myself and my loved ones. I dunno if I have fully reached that level yet but most definitely I've grown, emotionally and physically, *winks* and right now I'm taking care of Mom and Heather while Dad's away in Jakarta. God I miss him. My father is way more than my father to me he's like a sanctuary you know the one place I can be where all the pain in the outside world can't touch me but after Dad's illness, him being cooped up in the house like a zoo animal, his fughts with both Heather & Mom, and tons of other stuff he needed to get away and the job in Jakarta was more than we could've wished for. I still miss him though and sometimes when I pass a father with his little girl on the street I get hit by a sudden wave of emotions and memories of a childhood that I often wish I hadn't leave behind. In fact, once on this bus that goes around my hometown I saw a man wearing a baseball cap and having a little redheaded girl by his side, chatting away happily and skipping about giddy as a butterfly, they got on the bus together and the father put his hand on the girl's shoulder possessively while she cuddled up to him as if daring any stranger friend or foe to just try and take his daughter away from him and automatically be met with a fate crueler than death. You've heard hell hath no fury like a woman scorned right? Well if you ask me hell hath no fury or craving of vengenace like a father when his daughter is scorned by someone. I mean you shoulda seen my dad on my first date boy if looks could kill...
I still trying to get over the fact that Heather is now a senior in high school; my baby sister *sigh* she's finally growing up. She's already looked at colleges, done the new SAT, and went to California to see our college cousins and see what life is like over there but I'll admit when Heather finally goes off to college its going be awfully lonely without her around I mean she's just like Dad in retrospect (God she would KILL me if she knew I said that) she's loud, aggressive, outgoing, impossible to ignore, hot-tempered, and impossible to ignore but aside from that she's sweet, kind, loving, loyal, supportive, and funny if not crude but hey this is D.C. what do you expect? Racist jokes? I think not! To tell the truth, Heather has always been a bit of security blanket for me; you know when one gets upset and wants to feel secure they hold a teddy bear or a baby blanket Heather's like that she's safe and secure I mean whenever I feel sad or depressed she can tell very easily and shoiws up in my room, wraps her arms around me, and says that no matter what she'll protect me. If there's anyone in the entire world I could ever trust to watch my back it would definitely be Heather, just like Dad is the only one I think that can understand me, and how Mom is the only kind of person I can relate to on issues of personal or morale values like religious issues, work, growing up, and styuff like that its weird sometimes how often we feel the same way about this kind of things except for religion Mom hates that.
As for me, getting my high school diploma its not like I've been held back a year or something its just I need to make up a 1/2 credit that is required for me to graduate. God! I hate school requirements its not like I can't do them but there's just so many, coupled with so much pressure, enjoyment levels of negative zero like gym or tech ed, and there's always a limited deadline to complete the stupid courses. But really I have to do is do some voulnteer work, a couple of career training programs, and boom! The nightmare finally ends!
Although only Mom & Heather are going to visit Dad this month Dad's going to visit us here in the states in August just in time for his birthday. I can't wait to see him again! As I've said before I really miss him but its not like I haven't seen him at all because during Spring Break I went to visit him in Jakarta and though I got sick along the way we still had a good time and I enjoyed being with him. Its funny how the moment I stepped out into the airport parking lot Dad appeared, and I ran straight into his arms screaming out his name everybody standing there laughed but i didn't care I was just so happy to see him. Dad also said upon seeing me that he was amaszed at how grown-up I looked and mature too.
Went on a date with Kris yesterday oh man that boy is potively scrumptious! He's sweet, nice, kind, and very cute too. He's a wonderful conversationalist, and the best part it is that even though I talk really fast he can understand me he likes my jokes too which is always a plus. However, I sometimes get the feeling that the Kris I know is only a part of his real personality but hey I'm willing to wait until he believes that he can trust me and show his real self I just wish I could tell if he really likes me or likes me as a frienmd it'd be so much easier to be there for him, or understand him, and to not blow things out of proportion. However, Kris is my friend and I like him and that's all that really matters to me besides there's this one other guy I'm really into named Will and although he's a year younger than me I'm just crazy about him. He's funny, wild, unpredictable, and so completely charming. I mean he's got this kind of thing where he acts like a sophisicated gentleman when he dresses in ludicrious stuff like hawaiian shirts, neon colored flip-flops, and shorts that are either light pink or burgundy.
Things are changing quick that much I can assure you but what I really wish I could assure myself is of whatever happens will be good.