Things I will not do at the beach. (Or should not do, but do anyway…) Vol. 1
When using the outdoor shower, I will not dash across the carport naked, as it will result in irreprable ocular and mental damange to my housemates and the people staying across the street.
I will not draw up battle plans when I discover the people across the street have a slingshot.
I should not assume that any lost dog knows where it lives, as it will just go to the house it thinks looks like fun.
I will not talk about shark sightings without specifically mentioning that said sighting was at the NC aquarium.
I should not call out scores for difficulty and execution when kayakers wipe out when riding the surf into the beach.
When a grown man is bitten by a sand crab, I should not say, “No shit, they don’t like to be picked up!”
I will not look for hidden compartments in the house where I can hide when the vacation lease is up.
I should not play Scotland the Brave on the car stereo while going through town as it makes people think they are having auditory hallucinations.
Originally posted at CafeChatNoir.net.
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