Finally saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
Body of post under a cut, because of spoilers.
Just a few impressions:
Keira Knightly has gotten repulsively skinny.
Too bad it's not R-rated. Imagine the parrot saying, "Awwwwk! Monkey's got me, buggered again! Awwwwwwk!"
Looking at the crew of the Flying Dutchman, I can't help but think that they were inspired by Gahan Wilson.
Watching Depp get slimed by the Kraken was like watching Nickelodeon, or perhaps a re-run of Ghostbusters.
Can hardly wait to see Keith Richards play Depp's dad in the third movie. Ideally, he should speak in a sort of drunken gibberish that is completely incomprehensible but completely charming, as well.
Barbosa back from the dead? He was one of my favorite characters from the original movie, channelled Robert Newton perfectly. Still, WTF?
Don't like the idea of leaving the Caribbean area for the third movie. Although pirates of the Golden Age operated in other areas than the Caribbean, going to the Orient to kowtow to the Chinese doesn't appeal to me. A better choice might have been to have the pirates visit the Massachusetts Bay Colony and the uptight Puritans, which might have been fun if they didn't politicize it too much as a left-vs.-right thing. Please note that the second most popular pirate hunting ground, the Indian Ocean, will not be part of the sequel, either; pirates capturing the Great Mogul's daughter and raping her probably would be offensive to our friends (!) in the Religion of Peace.™
Ever seen such a collection of nasty teeth as is found in these movies, except, of course, for the two lovers? Need more deformities, too: goiters, noses eaten by syphilis, lepers, etc. Elephantiasis? No!
Just a few impressions:
Keira Knightly has gotten repulsively skinny.
Too bad it's not R-rated. Imagine the parrot saying, "Awwwwk! Monkey's got me, buggered again! Awwwwwwk!"
Looking at the crew of the Flying Dutchman, I can't help but think that they were inspired by Gahan Wilson.
Watching Depp get slimed by the Kraken was like watching Nickelodeon, or perhaps a re-run of Ghostbusters.
Can hardly wait to see Keith Richards play Depp's dad in the third movie. Ideally, he should speak in a sort of drunken gibberish that is completely incomprehensible but completely charming, as well.
Barbosa back from the dead? He was one of my favorite characters from the original movie, channelled Robert Newton perfectly. Still, WTF?
Don't like the idea of leaving the Caribbean area for the third movie. Although pirates of the Golden Age operated in other areas than the Caribbean, going to the Orient to kowtow to the Chinese doesn't appeal to me. A better choice might have been to have the pirates visit the Massachusetts Bay Colony and the uptight Puritans, which might have been fun if they didn't politicize it too much as a left-vs.-right thing. Please note that the second most popular pirate hunting ground, the Indian Ocean, will not be part of the sequel, either; pirates capturing the Great Mogul's daughter and raping her probably would be offensive to our friends (!) in the Religion of Peace.™
Ever seen such a collection of nasty teeth as is found in these movies, except, of course, for the two lovers? Need more deformities, too: goiters, noses eaten by syphilis, lepers, etc. Elephantiasis? No!