A Document.
So, I have this friend. And this friend doesn't like Christian Kane *collective gasp*. I know, right? Well, to each his own, and all that. But this friend allowed me one chance to make her like Chris Kane. So, I made a Document. It is entitled: "A Document. About why you should not hate Christian Kane." And it has FOOTNOTES.
A/N: So, a few things we should keep in mind...
ONE. My guidelines: All media accepted, but videos must be 20 seconds or under. Also, this friend does not like Christian's long hair, and his general Eliot-ness. Which, coincidentally, are the things I like about him. So, yeah. Not gonna lie- I had to really search for reasons, sometimes. Although I really enjoyed doing it :)
DEAUX. She likes Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki. And really likes Aldis Hodge. So I used this information to my advantage.
TRES. I am a slasher at heart, so there will be undertones, ppl. Or not so under tones. Obvious tones.
LAST: Basically, I'm the kind of person who laughs at their own jokes...
Let's do this bitch.
A DOCUMENT.
About why you should not hate Christian Kane.
Reason #1:
He also looks good in short hair:
Some people would argue he looks BETTER.
Reason #2:
Seriously. The laugh? Eh? Just a tiny bit adorable?
Reason #3:
He can SING: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib3j-Umz3TU (00:10-00:30. Note: Steve Carlson is there too...)
And DANCE. TRUE STORY. : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPLkb0fSXHI (9:13-9:20 & 9:50-end. Can I do that? If not, then only the first one.)
Reason #4:
He’s a self-proclaimed dork.
ChristianKane01: “I was walking through my hotel room and just started dancin' like a little kid.. All b/c it's football season again.. what a dork!!”
Does this remind you of anyone? A certain someone who’s name starts with a ‘P’ and rhymes with Shmadalecki, perhaps?
See? Chris can be endearing, too!
Reason #5:
He’s part Cherokee. Which is awesome. He wears his turquoise and has little braids in his hair sometimes and supposedly has tattoos on his calves that are Cherokee designs.
Dude has LAYERS.
Reason #6:
He loves BABIES.
That’s a scrunched up baby-lovin’ face. He totally thinks it’s adorable.
AND CHILDREN.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQDHvVhCgjU (00:45-1:05)
Chris while watching the video above during an interview: “Milo’s coming in here, too, in a second. This is Tim’s son, and, uh, just a cutie, isn’t he? Look at him….”
AND PUPPIES.
I mean, come on, right? Puppies.
Reason #7:
He loves his Mama…
Seriously, though. He and his cousin wrote a song called Mama, and Chris recorded it for Mother’s Day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utpZ81fsL_s (It’s longer than 20 seconds. Any of the 20 seconds are acceptable- the link is just here to prove its existence.)
Reason #8:
“This is a true story, this song. I had this girl, lived next door to me, and she had this guy that wasn’t very nice to her living with her, and so… I used to hear them fighting all the time, and she, you know, she was- it seemed like she was always crying and stuff like that, and I could hear her, I could hear them fighting and him throwing her around and stuff, so, I went over and politely knocked on the door, and then politely beat the shit out of him. True story. This girl never talked to me again, but I don’t care ‘cause they broke up after that…”
Chris Kane will beat up any guy that is abusing you, even if he doesn’t know you! And it doesn’t matter if you don’t like him, because he is just happy that you are safe!
He’s a different kind of knight, you know? He don’t have a white horse, but you can still come along for the ride.1
Reason #9:
For some reason, Steve Carlson is really COOL2. And Steve and Chris are boyfriends!
A/N: Chris Kane luurrves Steve Carlson. In my head. In bed…. with a naked pirate.3
Reason #10:
ChristianKane01: “Yall please check out the episode tonight. Aldis rocks it.”
Nuff said.
Reason #11:
Also, Chris and JENSEN ACKLES are friends….
Look at those three! All comraderous4 and shiz. They love each other.
Reason #12:
Let’s not forget to mention….. DAVID BOREANAZ:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gqkqq7f6xB0 (It’s 25 seconds. Just cut off the last 5.)
Christian Kane is, and I quote, Boreanaz’s BITCH. HELLS YES.
But they really are besties….
“That was back in the Angel days, there, that was when I got to beat up on my best friend Mr. David Boreanaz…. David Boreanaz is still my best friend… I talk to him once a week, he’s great, he’s having fun over on Bones, and I’m really happy for him to be able to go and do that, you know?...”
Come on, now… It’s sweet, right?
Need more convincing?
Alright. Say it with me: D’aaaaaawwwwwww!
And who can resist that Boreanaz five-year-old smile?5
Reason #13: You love Aldis Hodge. And Aldis Hodge loves awesome things: Twizzlers. Basketball. The word ‘dope’. Violins. Chris Kane’s ass.
LOOK at that sightline. It cannot be denied. It WILL NOT be denied.
Do the math. You love Christian Kane, too.
Reason # Last: *GREAT BIG JARED PUPPY-DOG EYES AT YOU*
1STOLEN. From the man, himself.
2Why, you ask? Who the hell knows, I answer. Some people, despite awkwardly proportioned bodies, just got it, yo.
3I apologize. I am fully aware that this one may have actually lost me points. Still had to be done.
4I made that up. I think. Maybe it’s a real word.
5Nobody can.