(no subject)
You Know You're A Student Nurse If...
...your books require wheels
...you use a paper towel to turn off the water faucet after washing your hands--even in your own home.
...you know the exact location of every coffee shop within a 5 mile radius of your clinical site.
...bandage scissors are the only scissors you use.
...everyone, including complete strangers, tells you about each and every ache, pain, sniffle, and lump they have.
...when you tell a man you meet for the first time you're a nursing student, you're expected to laugh hysterically when he asks you for a sponge bath, as if it was the most original and wittiest thing you've ever heard.
...you realize that the sponge bath joke IS the wittiest thing you've heard in awhile.
...you are not allowed to talk about your school day at the dinner table.
...you know it's possible to squeeze 6 people into a car to ride to a clinical site an hour away.
...your favorite dream is the one where you ask the nursing instructor what each and every side effect of a medication is and cheerfully write up an unmet objective if she misses one.
...you've woken up with a stethoscope-shaped imprint on your cheek.
...your family members must have a fever of at least 105 or be missing a limb with active bleeding in order for you to miss class/clinical.
...you replaced sleep with coffee and Red Bull.
...you seriously consider using the lecture on sleep deprivation to support a disability claim that will buy you one more week of study time before the next test.
...you have no problem discussing sputum and bowel movements at lunch.
...you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones.
...you get excited when someone says there is dressing change or a catheter to be done.
...your Christmas list consists of: NCLEX books, drug flash cards, a new stethoscope, and maroon scrubs.
...you car resembles a medical library.
...you use a penlight to get around the house when your electricity is knocked out.
...you know that one shot of tequila equals 45cc
...you find yourself subconsciously giving your family and friends nursing diagnoses.
...you are convinced you have every disorder you study, including all psychiatric disorders.
...you believe that a large bag of chocolate is a reasonable nursing action for Ineffective Coping Skills.
...you use aseptic technique to open a piece of flat cheese