Review: Superman Returns
From the iconic translucent blue sweeping super-text and John Williams' powerful score actuating a planetary destruction and a trip through some rather breathtaking scenes of outer space, I found myself wondering if I was all wrong about my initial views from the Superman Returns trailers. Off the bat it had all the right things to pay proper homage to the Christopher Reeve’s films. It announced itself in no certain terms as the real Superman III. - and considering the downward spiral the films took after Superman II there’s no wonder the filmmakers wanted to Recon Superman’s image. I’m glad that the opening title card provided the viewer with a quick synopsis of who Kal-El is, and that he disappeared when astronomers found evidence of his home planet of Krypton. It bypassed unnecessary dialog and laid the groundwork that we were about to see a society either moved on or at a loss without their hero.
Then the audience is subjected to a series of choppy scenes and unanswered questions. Clark (Brandon Routh) conveniently lands on the Kent farm alongside a huge chunk of meteor rock, with no explanation as to why. Is Smallville the gravitational center for all things meteor? - Or was this just lightning striking twice? It’s only until later that I found out via http://www.bluetights.net that everything explaining this scene has been cut. The thing I initially thought was a multipoint meteor is really Clark’s ship. Gee you’d think that after five years he would have learned how to fly; no pun intended. Scenes that explain how Kal-El’s alter ego Clark Kent maintained a façade of being away on sabbatical via Martha’s postcards to Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) also hit the cutting room floor. Alongside them was some much needed comic relief with Ben Hubbard (Martha’s new love interest) asking the line “So you flew in yesterday, eh?" to a much confused Kent. Instead the whole scene was replaced with 11 clips where Martha is upset and they talk about the Kryptonian graveyard Clark found.
As a whole, Clark’s return to Metropolis is underplayed. His portrayal of the awkward Kent is overshadowed by zombified workers and a Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington) who in my opinion was unable to add enough levity on his own merits to season this dry and long-winded chick flick. Perry White (Frank Langella) wasn’t the curmudgeonly editor in chief we know and love, instead he comes off as an efficient singularly minded leader, who’s only interest is Superman. Forget that this is post 911 or that the City of Gotham has it’s fair share of macabre super-villains, what about this mysterious EMP wave that wiped out all of the eastern seaboard? Are you really trying to make me swallow that the only person smart enough to call the power companies and trace back the ‘source’ of this wave is Lois Lane? Where is the government? SWAT? Homeland Security? Hell Kiefer Sutherland and the “24” team? - No instead we get one reporter and her son just “popping by" Lex’s ill begotten mansion between errands to her son’s school and her award banquet for her Pulitzer Prize.
And speaking of Lex I have a few questions:
1. Why did Lex need to swindle an old woman out of her fortune? He’s a billionaire with (I’m sure) a dozen off-shore accounts and countless contacts in the seedy underworld. Not to mention he owns an International company that rivals Wayne Enterprises run by non other than Ra’s Al-Ghul’s daughter, Talia.
2. Superman II showed us that Lex was already in the Fortress of Solitide. Why was he fumbling through the scene with such obvious statements? And why did the crystal controls react to his presence?
3. If your minions are there to show the stereotypical “surrounded by idiots” theme, why not give them more comic relief? These guys were just thugs with tattoos.
4. Why leave Lois in a room with technology to the outside world? You know she’s shifty. Smash it. Remove it. Be the genius that we know you are.
5. Why was the train set scene needed? You know what the crystals do. The Fortress of Solitude is already your prime example; plus Jor-El TOLD you what they were for. Why give any hint of your plan until you enact it? Especially a hint that wipes out the power across the entire Eastern seaboard!
6. He didn’t monologue enough. His character felt like the Joker, not the charming exacting “criminal mastermind” he’s so prone to titling himself.
7. Lastly, what criminal mastermind that forgets to fill the tank? I'll say it again, CRIMINAL MASTERMIND. You can argue that they took off in a hurry, and that the island lacked gas, but wouldn't he have planned ahead? Wouldn't he have remembered that he needed to return from his epic Kryptonian island?
I’ll lay aside the rest of my nitpicks regarding Jason Lane, the mysterious pregnancy, and Lois’ weak "Lana Lang from Smallville personality" and say this:
The film was choppy; it dragged on and on….and on and lacked a climatic scene worthy of the man of steel. It left me questioning plot holes big enough to drive the Titanic through… and had too many scenes of obvious Christian imagery. Bryan Singer’s take on the hero who’s famous for his dyslectic choice in undergarments tries to be both homage and continuation and winds up failing on such a colossal level that I find myself both abhorred and depressed at how far the director of The Usual Suspects and X-Men has fallen.
Then the audience is subjected to a series of choppy scenes and unanswered questions. Clark (Brandon Routh) conveniently lands on the Kent farm alongside a huge chunk of meteor rock, with no explanation as to why. Is Smallville the gravitational center for all things meteor? - Or was this just lightning striking twice? It’s only until later that I found out via http://www.bluetights.net that everything explaining this scene has been cut. The thing I initially thought was a multipoint meteor is really Clark’s ship. Gee you’d think that after five years he would have learned how to fly; no pun intended. Scenes that explain how Kal-El’s alter ego Clark Kent maintained a façade of being away on sabbatical via Martha’s postcards to Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) also hit the cutting room floor. Alongside them was some much needed comic relief with Ben Hubbard (Martha’s new love interest) asking the line “So you flew in yesterday, eh?" to a much confused Kent. Instead the whole scene was replaced with 11 clips where Martha is upset and they talk about the Kryptonian graveyard Clark found.
As a whole, Clark’s return to Metropolis is underplayed. His portrayal of the awkward Kent is overshadowed by zombified workers and a Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington) who in my opinion was unable to add enough levity on his own merits to season this dry and long-winded chick flick. Perry White (Frank Langella) wasn’t the curmudgeonly editor in chief we know and love, instead he comes off as an efficient singularly minded leader, who’s only interest is Superman. Forget that this is post 911 or that the City of Gotham has it’s fair share of macabre super-villains, what about this mysterious EMP wave that wiped out all of the eastern seaboard? Are you really trying to make me swallow that the only person smart enough to call the power companies and trace back the ‘source’ of this wave is Lois Lane? Where is the government? SWAT? Homeland Security? Hell Kiefer Sutherland and the “24” team? - No instead we get one reporter and her son just “popping by" Lex’s ill begotten mansion between errands to her son’s school and her award banquet for her Pulitzer Prize.
And speaking of Lex I have a few questions:
1. Why did Lex need to swindle an old woman out of her fortune? He’s a billionaire with (I’m sure) a dozen off-shore accounts and countless contacts in the seedy underworld. Not to mention he owns an International company that rivals Wayne Enterprises run by non other than Ra’s Al-Ghul’s daughter, Talia.
2. Superman II showed us that Lex was already in the Fortress of Solitide. Why was he fumbling through the scene with such obvious statements? And why did the crystal controls react to his presence?
3. If your minions are there to show the stereotypical “surrounded by idiots” theme, why not give them more comic relief? These guys were just thugs with tattoos.
4. Why leave Lois in a room with technology to the outside world? You know she’s shifty. Smash it. Remove it. Be the genius that we know you are.
5. Why was the train set scene needed? You know what the crystals do. The Fortress of Solitude is already your prime example; plus Jor-El TOLD you what they were for. Why give any hint of your plan until you enact it? Especially a hint that wipes out the power across the entire Eastern seaboard!
6. He didn’t monologue enough. His character felt like the Joker, not the charming exacting “criminal mastermind” he’s so prone to titling himself.
7. Lastly, what criminal mastermind that forgets to fill the tank? I'll say it again, CRIMINAL MASTERMIND. You can argue that they took off in a hurry, and that the island lacked gas, but wouldn't he have planned ahead? Wouldn't he have remembered that he needed to return from his epic Kryptonian island?
I’ll lay aside the rest of my nitpicks regarding Jason Lane, the mysterious pregnancy, and Lois’ weak "Lana Lang from Smallville personality" and say this:
The film was choppy; it dragged on and on….and on and lacked a climatic scene worthy of the man of steel. It left me questioning plot holes big enough to drive the Titanic through… and had too many scenes of obvious Christian imagery. Bryan Singer’s take on the hero who’s famous for his dyslectic choice in undergarments tries to be both homage and continuation and winds up failing on such a colossal level that I find myself both abhorred and depressed at how far the director of The Usual Suspects and X-Men has fallen.