Fuck the entirety of the world... and just about every God damned thing on it's filthy fucking face.
This is the last livejournal entry I will ever write.
I've decided that this thing is only a tool engineered to cause the author of it's text as much emotional damage as possible in one dose.
I was reading entries from the the date of creation of this thing... years ago.
And every thing I read only served to plunge what was already a rapidly declining mood into an
abysmal pit of nothing.
Among the things one can survey here... how happy my life used to be.
How care free I was. How childish I was...
How unfortunately I didn't change... and that fact caused the downfall of one of the only things I really had to live for.
I'll leave this thing here though... incase I ever decide I don't feel bad enough about myself... or maybe, someday I'll feel comfortable enough with what has happened to me that I'll be able to read it without crying... and without making stupid comments like "I wish I could go back, and relive all of that."
I truly do... I wish I could go back in time... and be myself... and do things to prevent the terrible losses that I suffered.
I'd like to go on the record as saying that my relationship with Erika was the single most beautiful thing that I think I could possibley ever experience. And that I wish that she could feel that way about me again...
Life only gets harder from this point on... You can say that at any given point in your life, and it will always be true. That's not my current black mood speaking... I think it's fact...
I'll leave this God Damn thing with one of the few things in the chronical of my highschool career that didn't make me want to die. My favorite joke...
"So a duck walks into a grocerey store, and walks up to the clerk and says,"You sell gwapes?" And the clerk says "No, we ain't got no grapes." So the duck leaves and returns the next day to ask the same question, to which the clerk responds,"NO! We ain't got no grapes, and if you ask again, I'll staple your feet to the floor!" So the duck leaves, and comes back the next day, and asks the clerk,"Do you have any staples?" To which the clerk responds with an angry,"No." and then the duck says..."Do you have any gwapes?"
No... this is not a cry for help. This is not some kind of lame suicide note thing either.
This thing failed to help me in a time of need... so it is useless.
When I started this thing... it was full of happy entries... and a happy life... with happy love...
What the hell went wrong?
If you have some kind of burning desire to have your feelings ignored... you can talk to me in person...
being that I don't even want to listen to my own bitching at the current moment... I don't know how much I'll want to listen to yours.
For the absolute final time on this .com...
-Mikey-
I've decided that this thing is only a tool engineered to cause the author of it's text as much emotional damage as possible in one dose.
I was reading entries from the the date of creation of this thing... years ago.
And every thing I read only served to plunge what was already a rapidly declining mood into an
abysmal pit of nothing.
Among the things one can survey here... how happy my life used to be.
How care free I was. How childish I was...
How unfortunately I didn't change... and that fact caused the downfall of one of the only things I really had to live for.
I'll leave this thing here though... incase I ever decide I don't feel bad enough about myself... or maybe, someday I'll feel comfortable enough with what has happened to me that I'll be able to read it without crying... and without making stupid comments like "I wish I could go back, and relive all of that."
I truly do... I wish I could go back in time... and be myself... and do things to prevent the terrible losses that I suffered.
I'd like to go on the record as saying that my relationship with Erika was the single most beautiful thing that I think I could possibley ever experience. And that I wish that she could feel that way about me again...
Life only gets harder from this point on... You can say that at any given point in your life, and it will always be true. That's not my current black mood speaking... I think it's fact...
I'll leave this God Damn thing with one of the few things in the chronical of my highschool career that didn't make me want to die. My favorite joke...
"So a duck walks into a grocerey store, and walks up to the clerk and says,"You sell gwapes?" And the clerk says "No, we ain't got no grapes." So the duck leaves and returns the next day to ask the same question, to which the clerk responds,"NO! We ain't got no grapes, and if you ask again, I'll staple your feet to the floor!" So the duck leaves, and comes back the next day, and asks the clerk,"Do you have any staples?" To which the clerk responds with an angry,"No." and then the duck says..."Do you have any gwapes?"
No... this is not a cry for help. This is not some kind of lame suicide note thing either.
This thing failed to help me in a time of need... so it is useless.
When I started this thing... it was full of happy entries... and a happy life... with happy love...
What the hell went wrong?
If you have some kind of burning desire to have your feelings ignored... you can talk to me in person...
being that I don't even want to listen to my own bitching at the current moment... I don't know how much I'll want to listen to yours.
For the absolute final time on this .com...
-Mikey-