Wakefulness
I'm having a strange episode of not moving from my computer, not working and...writing poetry, looking up theories of temporality and time, and generally wondering about my sanity.
I need to sleep. I don't think I've been sleeping properly at all. My dreams have been odd, to say the least. One the other week felt so real.
Something cold, slimy, ancient, stroked the back of my neck, and whispered to me to come follow it. There were more unintelligible mutterings too. Strange things in my world. Sometimes I get dreams before I fall asleep. It's strange. They aren't hallucinations though.
You may or may not remember about my friend with cancer. His funeral was a week ago...well, yesterday now, but today in my world. He was 60. His birthday was at Christmastime. I didn't know when I last saw him that it would be the last time I'd seen him. He's been there my whole life and now he isn't. Being at uni, I guess it isn't so bad, because he was never here, but at home its going to be strange.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys before, but...I don't know. It's hard to tell people.
There's stuff I want to say, but I don't know what it is.
I think I want to do a PhD and then I think no I don't - or more precisely, no I can't. I've not the capacity. Or ideas.
Would I do it in museology if I did? Would I be able to fund it? I don't know, I really don't.
I really should post more, about more interesting things than this strange inner reality(?) of mine.
Fractal
Colour...shattered,
Becomes oblique,
But ordered in mathmatical space.
Some law, some rhythm...
But what, and where?
Hovers in time, hovers in air
In the shattered place behind my eyes.
That shattered place behind your eyes.
Where space between the world and you
Coalesces in limitless vision
Cracks in pixelated colour
And fades, irreplaceable, gone...
I need to sleep. I don't think I've been sleeping properly at all. My dreams have been odd, to say the least. One the other week felt so real.
Something cold, slimy, ancient, stroked the back of my neck, and whispered to me to come follow it. There were more unintelligible mutterings too. Strange things in my world. Sometimes I get dreams before I fall asleep. It's strange. They aren't hallucinations though.
You may or may not remember about my friend with cancer. His funeral was a week ago...well, yesterday now, but today in my world. He was 60. His birthday was at Christmastime. I didn't know when I last saw him that it would be the last time I'd seen him. He's been there my whole life and now he isn't. Being at uni, I guess it isn't so bad, because he was never here, but at home its going to be strange.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys before, but...I don't know. It's hard to tell people.
There's stuff I want to say, but I don't know what it is.
I think I want to do a PhD and then I think no I don't - or more precisely, no I can't. I've not the capacity. Or ideas.
Would I do it in museology if I did? Would I be able to fund it? I don't know, I really don't.
I really should post more, about more interesting things than this strange inner reality(?) of mine.
Fractal
Colour...shattered,
Becomes oblique,
But ordered in mathmatical space.
Some law, some rhythm...
But what, and where?
Hovers in time, hovers in air
In the shattered place behind my eyes.
That shattered place behind your eyes.
Where space between the world and you
Coalesces in limitless vision
Cracks in pixelated colour
And fades, irreplaceable, gone...