Bond Analysis, Part 1
Seeing as '007 is waning rapidly (and this is more fun than studying for my Series 7 exam), I should probably post the results of my analysis comparing the relative lethal nature of sleeping with James Bond. I still have a few facts to check on the movies, but I do have the scoop from the books for you:
Title
Book Order
Book Conquests
Book Conquests deceased by the end
Book Fatality Rate
Casino Royale
1
Vesper Lynd
Vesper Lynd
100%
Live and Let Die
2
Solitaire*
None
0%
Moonraker
3
Galatea Brand*
None
0%
Diamonds are Forever
4
Tiffany Case
None
0%
From Russia With Love
5
Tatiana Romanova**
None
0%
Dr. No
6
Honeychile Rider*
None
0%
Goldfinger
7
Jill Masterton, Pussy Galore
Jill Masterton
50%
For Your Eyes Only
8
None
None
0%
Thunderball
9
Patricia Fearing*, Dominetta Vitali
None
0%
The Spy Who Loved Me
10
Vivienne Michel
None
0%
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
11
Teresa DiVicenzo, Ruby Windsor
Teresa DiVicenzo
50%
You Only Live Twice
12
Kissy Suzuki
None
0%
The Man With the Golden Gun
13
Mary Goodnight*
None
0%
The Living Daylights
14a
None
None
0%
Octopussy
14b
None
None
0%
*Character is a romantic interest/red herring only. Not exactly a conquest.
**Tatiana is, however, dead by the beginning of Dr. No. She lives through the end of the book, though.
So, if we count all of the various babes James macks upon throughout the novels (I don't count the "grab the girl and kiss her" as a conquest, if that's all that happens), the survival rate of being James Bond's love interest is 1 in 5, or 20%. If you actually have sex with Mr. Bond, however, your demise is more likely--1 out of 3, or 33%, of Bond's sexual partners end up deceased. If you count Tatiana Romanova, it's even more dodgy--though the division isn't quite as neat.
Coming soon: the breakdown of the films. If my initial numbers are anything to go by, you'll be surprised.
Title
Book Order
Book Conquests
Book Conquests deceased by the end
Book Fatality Rate
Casino Royale
1
Vesper Lynd
Vesper Lynd
100%
Live and Let Die
2
Solitaire*
None
0%
Moonraker
3
Galatea Brand*
None
0%
Diamonds are Forever
4
Tiffany Case
None
0%
From Russia With Love
5
Tatiana Romanova**
None
0%
Dr. No
6
Honeychile Rider*
None
0%
Goldfinger
7
Jill Masterton, Pussy Galore
Jill Masterton
50%
For Your Eyes Only
8
None
None
0%
Thunderball
9
Patricia Fearing*, Dominetta Vitali
None
0%
The Spy Who Loved Me
10
Vivienne Michel
None
0%
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
11
Teresa DiVicenzo, Ruby Windsor
Teresa DiVicenzo
50%
You Only Live Twice
12
Kissy Suzuki
None
0%
The Man With the Golden Gun
13
Mary Goodnight*
None
0%
The Living Daylights
14a
None
None
0%
Octopussy
14b
None
None
0%
*Character is a romantic interest/red herring only. Not exactly a conquest.
**Tatiana is, however, dead by the beginning of Dr. No. She lives through the end of the book, though.
So, if we count all of the various babes James macks upon throughout the novels (I don't count the "grab the girl and kiss her" as a conquest, if that's all that happens), the survival rate of being James Bond's love interest is 1 in 5, or 20%. If you actually have sex with Mr. Bond, however, your demise is more likely--1 out of 3, or 33%, of Bond's sexual partners end up deceased. If you count Tatiana Romanova, it's even more dodgy--though the division isn't quite as neat.
Coming soon: the breakdown of the films. If my initial numbers are anything to go by, you'll be surprised.