Video Archive Interview 1854 - Jack Sparrow
What’s the meaning of all of this... madness here?
[ BREAK. VIDEO INTERVIEW RESUMED IN 3 MINUTES 27 SECONDS.
INTERVIEWEE HIGHLY UNCO-OPERATIVE. ]
Fine, fine.
I guess you want me to talk, uh?
Very well, mate. I shall talk.
[ SILENCE. 14 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
There is one important thing you must not forget about me, mate. I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?
[ SILENCE. 9 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
You want to know more about me?
Well, mate, maybe I can tell you a couple of things.
Where should I begin?
[ SILENCE. 13 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
Oh, I know. I have a ship, the Black Pearl. It’s not a ship like the others - it’s the fastest ship on Earth. And I am its captain. [whisperers to himself] Or, well, I technically am. If only that filthy bastard hadn’t stolen it. Again.
[ SILENCE. 17 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
[chuckles] I wonder how Will and his dangerous damsel are doing. [whisperers to himself] Or was it damsel in danger...? Whatever...
Well, he’s probably doing better than me. He’s bloody immortal now! He is certainly doing better than I am. But he’s grown up, hasn’t he? The first time I met him, he was pretty much a lost case. He couldn’t even tell a woman he loved her! Sure, he was good at fighting. Good at fighting and a total failure with ladies. Yeah, that was Will. I seriously thought he was an eunuch, you know what I mean?
He was pretty stubborn, too. Well, he still is. He really hated pirates. I never understood why. Maybe because they kidnapped the woman of his dreams? But anyway, he refused to acknowledge that his father, Bootstrap Bill Turner, was a pirate. He had pirate blood in his veins, and he wouldn’t accept it. Kind of stupid? Yeah, I thought so, too.
He soon changed his mind, though. I changed him. I made a pirate out of him, oh, I really did. I also helped him save his sweetheart, ol’ whats-her-name. Well, now that I think of it... I helped him two times, actually. The second time he had to rescue his damsel again. In the end, it turned out his damsel didn’t need any help at all.
[ SILENCE. 7 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
I used Will to get my ship back. Because that bloody Barbossa stole it. But I had my revenge. I killed him. I waited years and I kept that last shot just for him. Ha! Serves him right. Nobody messes with Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?
...and I would be even happier about my revenge if that bloody bastard hadn’t come back to life. All right, he was the only one who knew how to get to the world of the dead, but he stole my ship again! That bloody-
Fine, fine, I shall stop here.
[ SILENCE. 11 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
After that, I thought everything was going to be fine. I finally had my ship back, Will and Elizabeth got together and I even liked my new crew. But I was wrong, because, not too much time after, Davy Jones came looking for me.
You know who Davy Jones is - or, better yet, was? No?
He was every pirate’s nightmare. He wasn’t really what you’d call a beautiful view. He had all those tentacles on his face, a claw instead of a left hand and he had this fishy-like skin. Cute? Fascinating? Not at all.
Anyway. He was supposed to take the dead pirate’s soul to the underworld, but he didn’t. Guess that was the reason why he became an... unpleasantly looking fishy human. His crew was just like him - not all of them had tentacles, but they did look like human fishes.
We had made an agreement and it was time for me to pay my debt and join his crew. I obviously didn’t want to become a half-fish and spend all my immortal life on the Flying Dutchman.
Again, I used Will and Elizabeth to get Davy Jones’ heart, so that we could negotiate, you know? But in the end I was unsuccessful and became Kraken’s food. (The Kraken was a scary beastie that Davy Jones had sent after me.)
[ SILENCE. 12 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
I was locked up in the depths of Davy Jone’s Locker until Barbossa, Will, Elizabeth and all the members of my crew (Tia Dalma included, what a surprise) rescued me. But when I asked if someone had come to save me just because they missed me, only a monkey and two men raised their hands (or paw, in the monkey’s case).
In fact, I eventually found out that the pirate lords of the Brethren Court had to meet and decide what to do about Cutler Beckett, the enemy of every pirate, who had recently joined forces with Davy Jones to destroy us.
We tried to negotiate with them, but we were not successful and so we had to fight.
...actually, during the negotiation, I was traded for Will, who had (strangely enough) joined Davy Jones and Beckett, too. But the boy was just trying to save his father (and not a dangerous damsel, this time... I know, it sounds a little bit strange, doesn’t it?) from his cruel destiny (he was a member of Davy Jones’ fishy crew).
Anyway. Let’s skip the whole battling part, shall we? During the fight I tried to steal Davy Jones’ heart, so that I could stab it and become the new immortal captain of the Flying Dutchman.
But everything went wrong. Will was mortally stabbed before my (and Elizabeth’s) eyes and he was going to die for certain.
What was I supposed to do? I wanted to become immortal, but Will was dying! So... I helped him stab the heart instead. Davy Jones died and Will became the new captain of the Flying Dutchman. And no, he did not look like a fish, he stayed human. The whole crew was back into human beings.
After that, we took care of dear Cutler Beckett and destroyed his ship. We won against the East India Trading Company, and I had a feeling they wouldn’t bother us anymore for some years.
[ SILENCE. 15 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
[smirks] Yeah, that’s pretty much my story.
Then Barbossa stole my ship for the second time, but I was smarter than him and took the middle part of the charts that lead to all those legendary places and I went on a journey on my own to find the Fountain of Youth. You must admit I’m pretty clever, eh, mate?
[ BREAK. VIDEO INTERVIEW RESUMED IN 2 MINUTES 57 SECONDS.
INTERVIEWEE HIGHLY UNCO-OPERATIVE. ]
[starts looking around]
Now, now-where’s the rum?
[ BLACK. ]
[ BREAK. VIDEO INTERVIEW RESUMED IN 3 MINUTES 27 SECONDS.
INTERVIEWEE HIGHLY UNCO-OPERATIVE. ]
Fine, fine.
I guess you want me to talk, uh?
Very well, mate. I shall talk.
[ SILENCE. 14 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
There is one important thing you must not forget about me, mate. I’m Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?
[ SILENCE. 9 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
You want to know more about me?
Well, mate, maybe I can tell you a couple of things.
Where should I begin?
[ SILENCE. 13 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
Oh, I know. I have a ship, the Black Pearl. It’s not a ship like the others - it’s the fastest ship on Earth. And I am its captain. [whisperers to himself] Or, well, I technically am. If only that filthy bastard hadn’t stolen it. Again.
[ SILENCE. 17 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
[chuckles] I wonder how Will and his dangerous damsel are doing. [whisperers to himself] Or was it damsel in danger...? Whatever...
Well, he’s probably doing better than me. He’s bloody immortal now! He is certainly doing better than I am. But he’s grown up, hasn’t he? The first time I met him, he was pretty much a lost case. He couldn’t even tell a woman he loved her! Sure, he was good at fighting. Good at fighting and a total failure with ladies. Yeah, that was Will. I seriously thought he was an eunuch, you know what I mean?
He was pretty stubborn, too. Well, he still is. He really hated pirates. I never understood why. Maybe because they kidnapped the woman of his dreams? But anyway, he refused to acknowledge that his father, Bootstrap Bill Turner, was a pirate. He had pirate blood in his veins, and he wouldn’t accept it. Kind of stupid? Yeah, I thought so, too.
He soon changed his mind, though. I changed him. I made a pirate out of him, oh, I really did. I also helped him save his sweetheart, ol’ whats-her-name. Well, now that I think of it... I helped him two times, actually. The second time he had to rescue his damsel again. In the end, it turned out his damsel didn’t need any help at all.
[ SILENCE. 7 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
I used Will to get my ship back. Because that bloody Barbossa stole it. But I had my revenge. I killed him. I waited years and I kept that last shot just for him. Ha! Serves him right. Nobody messes with Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?
...and I would be even happier about my revenge if that bloody bastard hadn’t come back to life. All right, he was the only one who knew how to get to the world of the dead, but he stole my ship again! That bloody-
Fine, fine, I shall stop here.
[ SILENCE. 11 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
After that, I thought everything was going to be fine. I finally had my ship back, Will and Elizabeth got together and I even liked my new crew. But I was wrong, because, not too much time after, Davy Jones came looking for me.
You know who Davy Jones is - or, better yet, was? No?
He was every pirate’s nightmare. He wasn’t really what you’d call a beautiful view. He had all those tentacles on his face, a claw instead of a left hand and he had this fishy-like skin. Cute? Fascinating? Not at all.
Anyway. He was supposed to take the dead pirate’s soul to the underworld, but he didn’t. Guess that was the reason why he became an... unpleasantly looking fishy human. His crew was just like him - not all of them had tentacles, but they did look like human fishes.
We had made an agreement and it was time for me to pay my debt and join his crew. I obviously didn’t want to become a half-fish and spend all my immortal life on the Flying Dutchman.
Again, I used Will and Elizabeth to get Davy Jones’ heart, so that we could negotiate, you know? But in the end I was unsuccessful and became Kraken’s food. (The Kraken was a scary beastie that Davy Jones had sent after me.)
[ SILENCE. 12 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
I was locked up in the depths of Davy Jone’s Locker until Barbossa, Will, Elizabeth and all the members of my crew (Tia Dalma included, what a surprise) rescued me. But when I asked if someone had come to save me just because they missed me, only a monkey and two men raised their hands (or paw, in the monkey’s case).
In fact, I eventually found out that the pirate lords of the Brethren Court had to meet and decide what to do about Cutler Beckett, the enemy of every pirate, who had recently joined forces with Davy Jones to destroy us.
We tried to negotiate with them, but we were not successful and so we had to fight.
...actually, during the negotiation, I was traded for Will, who had (strangely enough) joined Davy Jones and Beckett, too. But the boy was just trying to save his father (and not a dangerous damsel, this time... I know, it sounds a little bit strange, doesn’t it?) from his cruel destiny (he was a member of Davy Jones’ fishy crew).
Anyway. Let’s skip the whole battling part, shall we? During the fight I tried to steal Davy Jones’ heart, so that I could stab it and become the new immortal captain of the Flying Dutchman.
But everything went wrong. Will was mortally stabbed before my (and Elizabeth’s) eyes and he was going to die for certain.
What was I supposed to do? I wanted to become immortal, but Will was dying! So... I helped him stab the heart instead. Davy Jones died and Will became the new captain of the Flying Dutchman. And no, he did not look like a fish, he stayed human. The whole crew was back into human beings.
After that, we took care of dear Cutler Beckett and destroyed his ship. We won against the East India Trading Company, and I had a feeling they wouldn’t bother us anymore for some years.
[ SILENCE. 15 SECONDS.
NO BREAK IN VIDEO INTERVIEW. ]
[smirks] Yeah, that’s pretty much my story.
Then Barbossa stole my ship for the second time, but I was smarter than him and took the middle part of the charts that lead to all those legendary places and I went on a journey on my own to find the Fountain of Youth. You must admit I’m pretty clever, eh, mate?
[ BREAK. VIDEO INTERVIEW RESUMED IN 2 MINUTES 57 SECONDS.
INTERVIEWEE HIGHLY UNCO-OPERATIVE. ]
[starts looking around]
Now, now-where’s the rum?
[ BLACK. ]