Bottled Up
I've always said that if something is bothering you, that you should never bottle it up inside of you - well, I have not been heeding my own advise, and have been doing just that - bottling things up. So, I've decided to blog about it a bit - mainly so I don't go crazy!
hmmm....trying to think when it started, and there a a few things going on at once - (life can never be simple can it? - especially whe you become a grown up). So let's see... I joined a club - someone I know joined to ( I encouraged it - silly me) They first started going to this club and wanted to go when I went - I thought that was a great idea too - at first. We would work our schedules around each others if we could - and it was all working out quite well, or so I thought - until one day we called each other, planned to go at the same time, to meet there together, but this person, when they got there before me - which was fine - did not wait for me to get there before they started - they never once said anything about having any other appointments for they day or anything of the like - it ended up making me really mad and really hurt - here I had taken time out of my day and away from my family, and I wasn't feeling the greatest on top of it, and worked my busy schedule around this other persons - and all to have them not wait for me even though they knew for certain that I was on my way, and didn't wait for me, and then even left before me - not waiting for me at all - WTH!!!!!!!!???
WHY am I changing my schedule around???!! - I felt like crap that day but went anyway to be suportive of this person and to have a good time doing something together, when I had felt much better the day before and would have much rather gone the day before - but no - I planned with this other person the designated day - and then - then - they do that?!?! - I decided forget it, and I now keep my own schedule. I go when I want to and when I feel up to it - and now --- it has turned into a compitition with this other person of what we have each accoplished - I feel like yelling GOOD GRIEF! GROW UP ALREADY!!! HAVE CONSIDERATION FOR OTHERS!!!! THAT'S WHAT GROWN UPS DO - AND YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A SPOILED ROTTEN BRATTY KID!!!!
- I need to re-focus on why I joined the club in the first place - to do somethign good for me!
Also - there is an upcoming family event - I have been asked to help in aspecific way - things were said to me, that I can't tell others ( it's a surprise event), but - now others who were not supposed to know, now know - (not because of me!) - and some people know ..then when I ask if I can talk with the people who DO know, so that crucial parts of the plan can be confirmed and followed through - the person who told me acts like I will be giving away a big secret - hello! you told me that the person I need to talk to already knows!!! (duh!), and I NEED to communicate with them in order for things to work! ....next time I'll be telling them that I do not want to know a big secret and to employ someone else in the maddening plan - count me out! - I'll just show up oblivious to the event ...maybe.
Oh, and there will be persons staying here - so who has to clean up the place, with not a whole lot of prep time? you guessed it!
There's more - but Im wiped out from just writing about this much! Sheeesh!
