*anticipating explosion*
Everything is too much at the moment. The last few days have been horrible, I just wake up feeling irritated and stressed. I've got exams to revise for and an essay. This doesn't help because I already have no faith in myself, and the essay is on moral philosophy and economics. I'm more likely to learn the Bible word for word backwards... in Arabic than understand the essay. No time to revise either, and I'm angry at myself for not turning up to any lectures or seminars. I know it doesn't count this year, but despite all my laziness, I'm still determined to do well.
In addition to this, all my friends here seem to hate each other... the simplest of comments seems to easily turn into war, such as "you're going home early". I always end up caught in the middle because I can sympathise with everyone's grievances but personally don't give a shit about the trivial crap. We barely get to see each other anymore, yet everyone still gets jealous and easily offended. If it's that bad and you can't talk over it like adults then what's the point in being friends?
Family also contributing to the stress... Mum bitches about me behind my back then denies it, Dad looks for any excuse to ang me (ok most of it is fair), Lord's transformed into an arrogant little shit and Em wants everything to be 'normal' like when I used to be here. I'm not suggesting with have a huge party and declare our undying love for each other, but I want to make an effort of the little time we do have together, she doesn't seem to appreciate that. Like, now I suggested that we were both free we could watch something, or do anything as long as it's together but she won't even listen.
Aaaah on yes and I'm becoming increasingly worried about Andrew, he doesn't seem to think he's good enough for me, and I'm scared shitless by some thoughts he seems to have. Quite often.
Also having lots of IBS and nausea... and caught mum's cold. Instead of resting, I'm going to have to do what I always do... make it worse, going back to Norwich tomorrow (definitely need to get out of here), hopefully find the confirmation number for my flight and go to Germany. Knowing Amanda, a lot of alcohol and little sleep will be involved. Arrive back in Letchworth on Wednesday, spend the last few days finishing essay and attempting to learn two modules that I know absolutely nothing about.
... now I just need the fuse that will make me explode. Odds-on favourites: Em or Dad's nagging about my phone.
Feel the need to apologise for the emo-ness.
In addition to this, all my friends here seem to hate each other... the simplest of comments seems to easily turn into war, such as "you're going home early". I always end up caught in the middle because I can sympathise with everyone's grievances but personally don't give a shit about the trivial crap. We barely get to see each other anymore, yet everyone still gets jealous and easily offended. If it's that bad and you can't talk over it like adults then what's the point in being friends?
Family also contributing to the stress... Mum bitches about me behind my back then denies it, Dad looks for any excuse to ang me (ok most of it is fair), Lord's transformed into an arrogant little shit and Em wants everything to be 'normal' like when I used to be here. I'm not suggesting with have a huge party and declare our undying love for each other, but I want to make an effort of the little time we do have together, she doesn't seem to appreciate that. Like, now I suggested that we were both free we could watch something, or do anything as long as it's together but she won't even listen.
Aaaah on yes and I'm becoming increasingly worried about Andrew, he doesn't seem to think he's good enough for me, and I'm scared shitless by some thoughts he seems to have. Quite often.
Also having lots of IBS and nausea... and caught mum's cold. Instead of resting, I'm going to have to do what I always do... make it worse, going back to Norwich tomorrow (definitely need to get out of here), hopefully find the confirmation number for my flight and go to Germany. Knowing Amanda, a lot of alcohol and little sleep will be involved. Arrive back in Letchworth on Wednesday, spend the last few days finishing essay and attempting to learn two modules that I know absolutely nothing about.
... now I just need the fuse that will make me explode. Odds-on favourites: Em or Dad's nagging about my phone.
Feel the need to apologise for the emo-ness.