and im on fire...and the day is feeling hopeless
sheesh. i feel really quite crappy right now. its been an interesting day.this is quite embarassing, but what the hey.so really it all boils down to rj and i not "talking" or doing whatever we were doing anymore. i think thats basically it. im not really sure. this undecided thing, i dont like it one bit. apparently, he thinks its a bad idea that we date because hes afraid that hes too much of a jerk and that i will cry everyday like i did with william. that is sooo not what was gonna happen. i cant be mad at rj. except now, of course. this is basically the same excuse will used to break up with me, so its like reopening a really deep wound. i think william will work it all out, because its really stupid. i hope will fixes it. (if someone were here i would ask them obsessivly if he will fix it)
but what does this all mean? are we still gonna talk on the phone? are we gonna act the same way that we have been for the past month even though nothing will come of it? or is there still a possibility? i have no clue. is he gonna come visit me and all that? i wish he would tell me something.
we really need to talk about it, but i cant bring myself to tell him all of this mess. thats williams job i think. he better fix it. i am so holding onto hope.
its not just him, its kinda symbolic of me getting over will and all that. choosing rj over will. it was a really huge step for me. it took a long time. and now look where i am...alone.
i think my problem is that i get attached to people too easily. i get way way too emotionally attached. i really dont mean to, it just happens. i mean i like rj...but its not a huge deal like i feel like it is. i cant just be no strings attached about that kind of thing. i dont know why, but i cant. uuugggghhhhh. i really hope it all works out and all that. will should fix it and we will all be happy. right?!
but what does this all mean? are we still gonna talk on the phone? are we gonna act the same way that we have been for the past month even though nothing will come of it? or is there still a possibility? i have no clue. is he gonna come visit me and all that? i wish he would tell me something.
we really need to talk about it, but i cant bring myself to tell him all of this mess. thats williams job i think. he better fix it. i am so holding onto hope.
its not just him, its kinda symbolic of me getting over will and all that. choosing rj over will. it was a really huge step for me. it took a long time. and now look where i am...alone.
i think my problem is that i get attached to people too easily. i get way way too emotionally attached. i really dont mean to, it just happens. i mean i like rj...but its not a huge deal like i feel like it is. i cant just be no strings attached about that kind of thing. i dont know why, but i cant. uuugggghhhhh. i really hope it all works out and all that. will should fix it and we will all be happy. right?!