I am Just A Retail Worker. Full of RAGE.
Allow me to impart to you the Etiquette Necessary In A Mall So That The Mall Workers Don't Want To Maim You.
1. When going into a retail or clothing store, do not immediately forget what your mother taught you. This includes, but is not limited to: Picking up your clothes, Not leaving your clothes on the floor, Not leaving 25 items dumped unceremoniously in a dressing room, Not picking up clothes and dropping them on the floor, and Not kicking them under racks just because you are too lazy to pick them up.
2. Remember to say please and thank you. While we are workers, we are still human beings. We only have to be polite while we are working. If you are rude to us, and we see you outside of a work environment, It will not be nice.
3. Don't Shoplift. I'm serious. You may think that the company can afford it, but I cannot. Sooner or later the stolen items take out of daily goals, which take out of how many hours i get to work a week. If I find out you have Shoplifted, I will personally come and take a crowbar to your car or person. Because you have cheated me out of money. And I am a Right Bitch.
4. Do not expect all retail workers to jump at your every beck and call. Yes, customer service is a big part, but if you start ordering us around, you won't see us around. Rather, we will go and do work elsewhere in the store. If you use a smile and a please, and perhaps make reasonable requests, we will help you in a very fast and efficient manner. Also, don't be dumb. Today I had a young girl simply stare at me and reply rudely "I have no idea" when I asked her how many items she wanted to take into the dressing room. I was about to making some scathingly witty comment about how incredibly unintelligent she was (we all know how scathingly witty i can be, right?) when her mother showed up. This brings me to Rule Number 1 For Survival In A West County Mall: Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstances, Attempt To Correct Or Harass A West County Woman With Children. I narrowly escaped death.
5. Do Not Try And Make A Fuss If You Are Returning Items After The 30 Day Period. I'm serious. you had 30 days to get your ass back to the mall and return it. Why don't you try Trying On the clothes? 75% of returns are because the person never bothered to try it on. Don't Be Lazy.
6. Do Not Run Through The Store Screaming Like The 14 Year Old You Are, You Obnoxious Twit. Self explanatory.
7. Do Not Try On Clothes Outside Of The Dressing Room, And Then Magically Expect To Button Themselves Back Up. This guideline mainly goes to men. The men who try on the button down shirts in the store and then put them back, unbuttoned. By the end of the night, I will have found 40-50 shirts that need buttoning. I am not exaggerating. You Bastards.
8. Do Not Run Into A Store 5 Minuets Before Closing. Just Don't. It's rude. It is not our faut if you did not properly schedule your time to buy a pink belt. If you are running late, my condolences, but I want to get home too. Mainly to get home to a gin and tonic. See? Retail has made me a raging alcoholic.
Retail workers are knowledgeable (usually) about their store and the clothes in it. Don't, by any means, be afraid to ask us for help, or if the dress makes you look fat (we won't say that, but we will point you in the direction of something that might make you look totally sexy or awesome.) if you're looking for something in particular, always ask some one for help. Chances are, we have it, know where it is, and where it is in 3 other colors. Just be sure to use courtesy and common sense. Please. I know this is a long rant, but its my webthingy and i can write whatever i want damnit. Who knows? The next time you pick up a shirt off a floor and put it back on its hanger, you might just make a retail workers day!
1. When going into a retail or clothing store, do not immediately forget what your mother taught you. This includes, but is not limited to: Picking up your clothes, Not leaving your clothes on the floor, Not leaving 25 items dumped unceremoniously in a dressing room, Not picking up clothes and dropping them on the floor, and Not kicking them under racks just because you are too lazy to pick them up.
2. Remember to say please and thank you. While we are workers, we are still human beings. We only have to be polite while we are working. If you are rude to us, and we see you outside of a work environment, It will not be nice.
3. Don't Shoplift. I'm serious. You may think that the company can afford it, but I cannot. Sooner or later the stolen items take out of daily goals, which take out of how many hours i get to work a week. If I find out you have Shoplifted, I will personally come and take a crowbar to your car or person. Because you have cheated me out of money. And I am a Right Bitch.
4. Do not expect all retail workers to jump at your every beck and call. Yes, customer service is a big part, but if you start ordering us around, you won't see us around. Rather, we will go and do work elsewhere in the store. If you use a smile and a please, and perhaps make reasonable requests, we will help you in a very fast and efficient manner. Also, don't be dumb. Today I had a young girl simply stare at me and reply rudely "I have no idea" when I asked her how many items she wanted to take into the dressing room. I was about to making some scathingly witty comment about how incredibly unintelligent she was (we all know how scathingly witty i can be, right?) when her mother showed up. This brings me to Rule Number 1 For Survival In A West County Mall: Never, Ever, Under Any Circumstances, Attempt To Correct Or Harass A West County Woman With Children. I narrowly escaped death.
5. Do Not Try And Make A Fuss If You Are Returning Items After The 30 Day Period. I'm serious. you had 30 days to get your ass back to the mall and return it. Why don't you try Trying On the clothes? 75% of returns are because the person never bothered to try it on. Don't Be Lazy.
6. Do Not Run Through The Store Screaming Like The 14 Year Old You Are, You Obnoxious Twit. Self explanatory.
7. Do Not Try On Clothes Outside Of The Dressing Room, And Then Magically Expect To Button Themselves Back Up. This guideline mainly goes to men. The men who try on the button down shirts in the store and then put them back, unbuttoned. By the end of the night, I will have found 40-50 shirts that need buttoning. I am not exaggerating. You Bastards.
8. Do Not Run Into A Store 5 Minuets Before Closing. Just Don't. It's rude. It is not our faut if you did not properly schedule your time to buy a pink belt. If you are running late, my condolences, but I want to get home too. Mainly to get home to a gin and tonic. See? Retail has made me a raging alcoholic.
Retail workers are knowledgeable (usually) about their store and the clothes in it. Don't, by any means, be afraid to ask us for help, or if the dress makes you look fat (we won't say that, but we will point you in the direction of something that might make you look totally sexy or awesome.) if you're looking for something in particular, always ask some one for help. Chances are, we have it, know where it is, and where it is in 3 other colors. Just be sure to use courtesy and common sense. Please. I know this is a long rant, but its my webthingy and i can write whatever i want damnit. Who knows? The next time you pick up a shirt off a floor and put it back on its hanger, you might just make a retail workers day!