Breakout
Title: Breakout
Summary: A one-shot based on a line from TW novel Trace Memories by David Llewellyn
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood… or Queen - this is just for fun!
A/N: Inspired by the recent revelation regarding a Torchwood musical. A special thanks to loopstagirl, as always! ;)
*****
‘I’m writing a musical about my experiences with Torchwood,” said Owen. “I’m gonna call it “Weevil Rock You”.’ Torchwood: Trace Memories
BREAKOUT
“Can you hear that?”
“Yeah, it’s… what is that? Music?”
“Why would there be music coming from the cells?” asked Jack, an eyebrow cocked. The team exchanged bemused looks, before all settling on Owen.
“Don’t look at me!” he shrugged. “Last time I checked, Janet wasn’t the Phantom of the bloody Opera!”
“It’s the emergency breakout alarm,” Ianto called matter-of-factly from above them.
“What?!” cried Jack, jumping up from the sofa and drawing his Webley.
“I think you’ve taken far too many bumps to the head, Coffee Boy. That alarm is a series of beeps, not bloody We Will Rock You!”
Ianto coughed lightly. “Well actually, Doctor Harper, I do believe it was you who changed it…”
“I did not!” He looked around at the three expressions of disbelief. “What?! I didn’t!”
“It was last Thursday,” Ianto continued. “You said something to Gwen about a Torchwood musical and that evening, after you’d had one too many to drink, you snuck back in here and changed the computer settings to play Queen.”
“Yeah right. And what evidence do you have of that…?”
“The CCTV footage.”
“Ah.” Boy, he must have really drunk…
“Erm… look, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Tosh offered, “but shouldn’t our attention be on catching the creatures that may have escaped.”
“Janet may be halfway to Mermaid Quay right now,” smirked Ianto.
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jack pointed a stern finger at Owen, “We’ll talk about this later!” Owen rolled his eyes and, cocking his pistol, cautiously followed Jack, Gwen and Tosh down into the cells.
Ianto remained on the level above them, smiling quietly to himself. They were in no danger. Of course, he wouldn’t usually condone such pranks, but under these circumstances, this was perfectly good revenge for the washing-up liquid in the water dispenser and the superglue on the coffee machine handle.
Ianto was already halfway to Mermaid Quay by the time Owen realised…