...
Hn.
Kinda sad.
Sort of.
I realized today that there's few places I belong.
Two, to be exact.
I don't feel like I belong with Danni or her family. Either her dad or her mom. Too strange and out of place. Or maybe not strange enough. This family... I don't belong here. Levi's my mother's child, they act more like each other. I'm my father's daughter, but he had to leave. That's why I'm empty, you see. There's no one there. Me and Nicole, we have the same problem. Nicole has it worse though.
I don't belong with Kayla and her friends, I'm not amazing enough. Not with Shadow, or Mari. I don't belong with John or Nicole. I don't belong with myself, even. Not by myself.
You sort of realize, when you make characters, you push things of yourself into them.
Obsession. This kind of scary, taunting obsession. Leopald's closest to it. It's sad.
I once belonged with someone. But that sort of passed... with a mistake, I mean.
Where I belong, it seems selfish, is with Danni and Kethry. Specifically. Just us three. Together, not apart. With Kethry alone, I don't belong. With Danni alone, I don't belong. I only belong with both of them, together.
Of course, the terrible thing is that they cast me out at times.
Depression is weird, sometimes you don't even know why you're depressed.
Also, damn my stupid idiotic RP mood. I need more fucking RP friends. No one likes RPing with me any more for some reason.
"Hikaru?"
"Hm?"
"You know that girl?"
"Huh? Oh, that one?"
"Hai. You liked her, huh?"
"She was nice."
"...Oh."
"Why?"
"Just asking."
AAND NOW I DUNNO HOW TO CONTINUE IT.
It sucks. My Kaoru sucks. My Ouran mood sucks.
I need to go die, seriously.
Kinda sad.
Sort of.
I realized today that there's few places I belong.
Two, to be exact.
I don't feel like I belong with Danni or her family. Either her dad or her mom. Too strange and out of place. Or maybe not strange enough. This family... I don't belong here. Levi's my mother's child, they act more like each other. I'm my father's daughter, but he had to leave. That's why I'm empty, you see. There's no one there. Me and Nicole, we have the same problem. Nicole has it worse though.
I don't belong with Kayla and her friends, I'm not amazing enough. Not with Shadow, or Mari. I don't belong with John or Nicole. I don't belong with myself, even. Not by myself.
You sort of realize, when you make characters, you push things of yourself into them.
Obsession. This kind of scary, taunting obsession. Leopald's closest to it. It's sad.
I once belonged with someone. But that sort of passed... with a mistake, I mean.
Where I belong, it seems selfish, is with Danni and Kethry. Specifically. Just us three. Together, not apart. With Kethry alone, I don't belong. With Danni alone, I don't belong. I only belong with both of them, together.
Of course, the terrible thing is that they cast me out at times.
Depression is weird, sometimes you don't even know why you're depressed.
Also, damn my stupid idiotic RP mood. I need more fucking RP friends. No one likes RPing with me any more for some reason.
"Hikaru?"
"Hm?"
"You know that girl?"
"Huh? Oh, that one?"
"Hai. You liked her, huh?"
"She was nice."
"...Oh."
"Why?"
"Just asking."
AAND NOW I DUNNO HOW TO CONTINUE IT.
It sucks. My Kaoru sucks. My Ouran mood sucks.
I need to go die, seriously.