Tournez a gauche
Set the record straight
Despite what you may have gathered from the conflicting report from my wife, I am clearly the linguistically gifted one of our partnership.
I always like to let people play on their strengths. It's one of my several best qualities. Even when that strength is limited to phrases like "Uno taxi pour quarter, silver plate" I still like to let the little lady have her fun. What she didn't tell you in her libelous journal entry was that when the taxi did arrive she hot footed it straight into the back quicker than you could say "merde". This forced me to sit in the front seat of the taxi, obliged to give directions and make small talk with the driver.
Giving directions wasn't difficult. "Deuxieme gauche", crap like that. But when the driver turned to me and said "You speak French very well", I was totally flummoxed.
GCSE level French is good for, say, asking directions to the tourist information office, telling people you're fifteen years old or correctly identifying a dog but any more than that and you're scuppered. Never, not once, in the whole of my French schooling did anyone ever tell me how to say "Have you been busy tonight". Or "why are all the bars shut at 10 pm"? . These are essential phrases for Taxi journeys. So I was dumbfounded. I thanked the taxi driver humbly and spend the rest of the journey sucking on my knuckles, wracking my brains in an attempt to remember something, anything, which would prove the guy correct.
I didn't manage it in the end and finished the journey with a rather lame "Ici, monsier". Which isn't too bad, really. Who the hell wants a lame ass conversation with a random taxi driver anyhow? Especially if he's French, ffs.
Despite what you may have gathered from the conflicting report from my wife, I am clearly the linguistically gifted one of our partnership.
I always like to let people play on their strengths. It's one of my several best qualities. Even when that strength is limited to phrases like "Uno taxi pour quarter, silver plate" I still like to let the little lady have her fun. What she didn't tell you in her libelous journal entry was that when the taxi did arrive she hot footed it straight into the back quicker than you could say "merde". This forced me to sit in the front seat of the taxi, obliged to give directions and make small talk with the driver.
Giving directions wasn't difficult. "Deuxieme gauche", crap like that. But when the driver turned to me and said "You speak French very well", I was totally flummoxed.
GCSE level French is good for, say, asking directions to the tourist information office, telling people you're fifteen years old or correctly identifying a dog but any more than that and you're scuppered. Never, not once, in the whole of my French schooling did anyone ever tell me how to say "Have you been busy tonight". Or "why are all the bars shut at 10 pm"? . These are essential phrases for Taxi journeys. So I was dumbfounded. I thanked the taxi driver humbly and spend the rest of the journey sucking on my knuckles, wracking my brains in an attempt to remember something, anything, which would prove the guy correct.
I didn't manage it in the end and finished the journey with a rather lame "Ici, monsier". Which isn't too bad, really. Who the hell wants a lame ass conversation with a random taxi driver anyhow? Especially if he's French, ffs.