(no subject)
ill start with a good note: dont you love it when you're driving home, or someplace, and right as you reach your destination, right as you're ready to turn off the car, the song that you're listening to ends? its something that i like, i dont know, it makes it feel like the world is in check.
well i can say my head still hurts.
but i did have a group interview at starbucks today
the full symp. orch. rehersal tonight ruined all of my plans.
but my parents did leave today for the weekend to go to illinois for a wedding, so its nice not to have them around all the time.
so ive been trying to think some things through lately. College, this last sememster of school, and many other things that have alot more pertinence that those, but whenever i try to think some of them through i get frustrated, and then there are other things (small things that you wouldnt usually consider important) i want to do, but for one reason or another i dont want to do it, and i get MORE frustrated. But the thing is that i think my personality makes me not stay mad at things for long, so i get frustrated or mad to the point of tears and then ten minutes later i can be laughing and joking with friends, and it pisses me off because it makes me feel like those feelings arent worth anything. but i want them to be! maybe its a good thing that i can change moods quickly, but right now i just want to forget about them so much, that maybe they'll disappear. and i dont know why im making such a big deal, cause alot of people have things alot worse than me, which makes me mad at myself for being so selfish/self centered. and then it seems like i just spin in this continuous cycle and its never going to stop and maybe thats why my head hurts, from the spinning. i just want this shit to fuck off! AAAAAAA!
well i can say my head still hurts.
but i did have a group interview at starbucks today
the full symp. orch. rehersal tonight ruined all of my plans.
but my parents did leave today for the weekend to go to illinois for a wedding, so its nice not to have them around all the time.
so ive been trying to think some things through lately. College, this last sememster of school, and many other things that have alot more pertinence that those, but whenever i try to think some of them through i get frustrated, and then there are other things (small things that you wouldnt usually consider important) i want to do, but for one reason or another i dont want to do it, and i get MORE frustrated. But the thing is that i think my personality makes me not stay mad at things for long, so i get frustrated or mad to the point of tears and then ten minutes later i can be laughing and joking with friends, and it pisses me off because it makes me feel like those feelings arent worth anything. but i want them to be! maybe its a good thing that i can change moods quickly, but right now i just want to forget about them so much, that maybe they'll disappear. and i dont know why im making such a big deal, cause alot of people have things alot worse than me, which makes me mad at myself for being so selfish/self centered. and then it seems like i just spin in this continuous cycle and its never going to stop and maybe thats why my head hurts, from the spinning. i just want this shit to fuck off! AAAAAAA!