(no subject)
I think I've probably written almost this exact thing before, but here goes:
I'm moving at the end of the month and have that mixture of excitement and dread that always comes with moving.
The dread isn't so much about all the stuff I have to do (though, there's certainly plenty on my to do list, which if I think too much about it can get completely overwhelming), no, it's a fear that I'm repeating a pattern my mother set up long ago.
You see, we moved pretty much every year. My mother would decide that where ever we were living wasn't good enough for some reason or other and find a new place. The new place was always going to be fantastic. It was the answer to our prayers, it was going to be the place where we'd finally be happy.
So now, every time I'm moving I have a hard time separating out whether my excitement is legitimate or whether it is an ingrained pattern of "perfect future" thinking.
I think I have reason to be genuinely excited this time - Daniel and I will be getting a place all our own (a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom place with a garden in the back yard and blackberries, it'll only be about 15 minutes door-to-door for my commute, and it has a nice deck with 1/2 enclosed in glass and 1/2 outdoor).
There are drawbacks too, which I'm perfectly aware of, so I'm hoping that means I'm seeing things clearly. We'll see I suppose...
I'm moving at the end of the month and have that mixture of excitement and dread that always comes with moving.
The dread isn't so much about all the stuff I have to do (though, there's certainly plenty on my to do list, which if I think too much about it can get completely overwhelming), no, it's a fear that I'm repeating a pattern my mother set up long ago.
You see, we moved pretty much every year. My mother would decide that where ever we were living wasn't good enough for some reason or other and find a new place. The new place was always going to be fantastic. It was the answer to our prayers, it was going to be the place where we'd finally be happy.
So now, every time I'm moving I have a hard time separating out whether my excitement is legitimate or whether it is an ingrained pattern of "perfect future" thinking.
I think I have reason to be genuinely excited this time - Daniel and I will be getting a place all our own (a 4 bedroom, 2 bathroom place with a garden in the back yard and blackberries, it'll only be about 15 minutes door-to-door for my commute, and it has a nice deck with 1/2 enclosed in glass and 1/2 outdoor).
There are drawbacks too, which I'm perfectly aware of, so I'm hoping that means I'm seeing things clearly. We'll see I suppose...